President Mack Daddy

What an amazing evening. I knew we could and that we would. I'm so glad I can now say, "Yes we did!"

To all the chumps who thought tonight would be close and that there would be no landslide, I say this:

Put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!!!!

Okay, you had to give me that one moment of unabashed gloating.

Tobin was kicking like crazy during McCain's concession speech. I'd like to think it was his little victory dance. I didn't cry nearly as much tonight as I thought I might. I only began leaking when Obama told the story of the 106 year old woman in Atlanta who had lived to see women and blacks finally obtain the right to vote, an end to segregation and the advent of civil rights and, sweetest of all, an African American man elected president. I just hope someone records her life story before it's too late. It must be a phenomenal one.

I feel rather guilty for not having to wait in line at the polling booth today, and I'd like to thank every single American who spent hours in line today and last week to vote in this momentous election. Your patience, dedication and perseverance paid off. You are the embodiment of "Real America." God bless you.

Palin's Off The Chain!!!

According to a McCain adviser, Sarah Palin is "going rogue" and has begun positioning herself for a 2012 run rather than focusing on winning 2008. I find this phrase especially fitting since "rogue" is usually paired in my mind with "elephant," the very symbol of the republican party.

If Palin were an actual elephant stampeding willy nilly through the town there'd be only one solution: a high powered rifle. Obviously this is not an option for the McCain campaign, so it will be interesting to see how they deal with this latest campaign-killing problem instead.

Apparently Palin isn't so happy about having been thrown under the bus, for which I applaud her. Liberals may have dubbed her "Caribou Barbie," but it's the campaign who made her into such a plastic persona.

Nicole Wallace (whom I loathe as much as Steve Schmidt) had this to say:

The Politico reported Saturday about Palin's frustration specifically with McCain advisers Nicolle Wallace and Steve Schmidt, who helped make the decision to limit Palin's initial press contact to a couple of high profile interviews with Charlie Gibson of ABC and Katie Couric of CBS, which all McCain sources admit were highly damaging.

In response, Wallace emailed CNN the same quote she gave the Politico:

“If people want to throw me under the bus my personal belief is that the most honorable thing to do is to lie there,” said Wallace.

What a spineless twat--oops!--I mean selfless martyr and patriot.

The Latest McCain Campaign Strategy: Outright Denial

Apparently Johnny Mac is "amazed" that other, prominent, members of the republican party have criticized Palin as his running mate. I could understand "disappointed," but "amazed?" Cadaver, pleez!

This one kills me...

"She is a governor, the most popular governor in America,” McCain said. “I think she is the most qualified of any that has run recently for vice president.”

Really? Including Dick Cheney? I mean, we all know how I feel about Dick, but even I would argue that he's more qualified to be VP than Palin. And what about Joe Lieberman? Wasn't McCain courting him to be his running mate? Does he truly, in his heart of hearts, think Palin is more qualified than Lieberman???

He went on to once again chide the media for their "gotcha questions" (you remember: what newspapers do you read? what does the vice president do? etc.)

And then....and then....my favorite:

McCain also mocked suggestions that Palin has to face tough interviews on the Sunday shows in order to prove herself to voters.

“That’s hilarious. With thousands of people showing up at town hall meetings, I've never had a person show up and ask when she is going on ‘Meet the Press.’ Not one.”

You wanna know why, Johnny?? Because even they know what a HORRENDOUS FUCKING IDEA it would be to let her anywhere near 'Meet the Press!!!'

I don't know what's worse: that your 2 top advisors thought she was a good idea, that you actually listened to them, or that you decided to save face rather than kick her to the curb and pick someone who wasn't a complete joke. Whatever. Far be it for me to look a gift moose in the mouth.

Oh heck!! I can't believe I forgot this one!

“We’re doing fine. We have a lot of enthusiasm out there. We’re working hard and enjoying the rallies and having fun. I’m very confident,” he said. “I think we’re behind, but it’s within the margin of error and we’re coming up. All the indicators are that we’re coming up.”

Uh, I'm pretty sure the margin of error is only 3-4%, sweetcheeks. Check your numbers again. Go ahead. I'll wait...

A Few Political Nuggets

Colin Powell officially endorsed Barack Obama on Meet The Press this morning. It was a wonderful interview. It was clear that he had devoted a great amount of time and thought to his decision and did not make it lightly by any means. I have huge respect for him for that.

I had huge respect for him prior to his support of the Iraq war and didn't buy his argument that he only supported it on the basis of faulty intelligence. I figured, as Secretary of State, that he had to be "in the know" and therefore "in on it." As I read further in Angler: The Cheney Vice Presidency, I now realize that in the Cheney/Bush administration (inversion intentional), that no one knows one single goddamn thing unless Cheney wants them to know it. Therefore, General Powell, please accept my sincere apology. However, I don't know if I can forgive you for convincing me via your interview today that centrist Republicans might actually be OK , halfway intelligent, rational people. I have to chew on that one for a while.

Also, Johnny Mac is now claiming to love "being the underdog." Enjoy it for the next 16 days, Johnny! Your optimism is kinda cute.

My favorite portion of the article:

Asked if Gov. Sarah Palin has become a drag on his ticket, McCain said, "As a cold political calculation, I could not be more pleased."

"She has excited and energized our base. She is a direct counterpoint to the liberal feminist agenda for America (my emphasis). She has a wonderful family. She's a reformer. She's a conservative. She's the best thing that could have happened to my campaign and to America," he said.

I still don't get how "liberal" and "feminist" have become such dirty words. What's so anti-American or--gasp!!!--unchristian about women having equal rights??? This is why I can't understand how any woman with a brain could even think of voting for McCain. If his personal life hasn't proven his utter disdain for women, his political life certainly has. I hope he loses by a record-breaking, humiliating margin. I hope during the middle of his concession speech that he breaks down and cries like a little bitch.

Last Night's Debate

Not TOO much to say about the debate last night. Once again, Ethan was afraid that McCain had won, I reassured him that Obama had, and the pundits agreed with me.

Things I noticed:

• Both candidates were asked to discuss their plans on various issues. Obama answered these questions directly. McCain spent most of his time pointing out the flaws in Obama's plans rather than selling his own. Not surprising since his plans are utter BS and aimed at destroying an already vanishing middle class

• McCain kept huffing and sighing off camera every time Obama was talking. Did he think that would play well with the public? He doesn't seem to be able to differentiate being "aggressive" from being "angry/haughty/condescending/a total prick"

• The confident, non-aggressive smile Obama trained on McCain every time McCain was talking smack about him. That's my favorite Obama debate tactic. You can almost read his thoughts. You know he's sitting there the whole time thinking, "Corpse, PLEEZ!"

• How the pundits IMMEDIATELY seized on McCain's abortion gaffe re: the "health of the mother" exception for late-term abortions. Good for them! And keep running that soundbite, please, for any women out there who might have missed it. Wave bye-bye to any undecided women out there, Johnny

And one non-debate-related observation:

I've been saying this for a long time, but will finally post it since it's relevant to the upcoming holiday. MSNBC political analyst Richard Wolffe (whom I adore) has a big, candy corn-shaped head. I affectionately squeal "Candy Corn!" with glee every time he comes on-screen. It could also be likened to Frankenstein, also holiday appropriate. See for yourself. I couldn't find a decent still shot, so the attached video will have to suffice. He's approx. 3:47 seconds in.

I love candy corn. If his head were actually a giant piece of candy corn, I would eat it in sections from chin to forehead. I'm a touch OCD when it comes to certain things.

Highlights from This Weekend...

Friday

1. Watching Countdown with Keith Olbermann (he had the day off) and seeing:

a) The footage of McCain having to defend Obama's character and tell his supporters that they have nothing to fear from an Obama presidency

b) The results of the Troopergate investigation come in, proving that Palin abused her powers as Governor. Nice! No wonder she had that gleam in her eye during the debate when discussing the newly expanded powers of the office of VP. Aside to Dick Cheney: Go fuck yourself!!

2. Delicious shredded beef szechuan style from my fav chinese restaurant

Saturday

1. Sleeping ungodly late with my warm, snuggly husband, 2 dogs and 2 cats. I don't know what the furry ones will do when the baby comes and they have to make room for him

2. Lounging in the comfy chairs at Starbucks reading the NY Times

3. Going to the library to find out that my copy of Angler: The Dick Cheney Vice Presidency was in! I'll do a mini book report once I finish it

4. Watching Halloween (the original) for the buhbillionth time while eating leftover shredded beef szechuan style from my fav chinese restaurant. Yes, it's dated, but it still scares the bejesus out of me. I chalk this up to its having been the first horror movie I ever saw (at the tender age of 6--it was edited for TV). I saw the Rob Zombie remake and really enjoyed it, but I have to say that the notion of Michael Myers coming from a perfectly normal, suburban family is far more terrifying than his coming from the white trash, abusive upbringing he had in the remake.

Sunday

1. Sleeping in again, though not as late

2. Sweet talking Ethan into going to the grocery store for me. He did a great job. I'll have to do that again

3. Ethan and I giving Mr. T yet another stern talking to for battering my internal organs all day long. Most of the day it felt like he was working the heavy bag, but he would occasionally switch things up and work on the speed bag for a while. Work that jab, Kid. Work that jab.

4. Cooking a home cooked meal for the first time in ages. I made this chili recipe from Tyler Florence and the accompanying corn pudding with poblanos. It was frickin' awesome if I do say so myself. I made the corn pudding to the exact recipe, but took some liberties with the chili. They didn't have beef shoulder, so I used stew meat. The recipe called for ancho chili powder and chilis in adobo sauce. I had some awesome chipotle chili powder, so I just used that instead of the 2 separate ingredients. It also said to puree the veggies, tomato paste and sugar before adding to the pot. I skipped that step since it was all going to simmer for 2 hours and wound up dissolving into the broth anyway. Also, I added a little more of each spice called for and omitted the coriander. I was totally sure I had coriander before I sent Ethan off to the store, but I was mistaken. Didn't miss it. Unfortunately, Ethan had to buy a 5 lb. bag of masa harina when I only needed 1/2 c. Gives me an excuse to buy a tortilla press so I can make my own corn tortillas.

4. Eating abovementioned chili while watching this week's episode of True Blood. It just gets better and better--and Sookie and Bill finally got down to business, bless their sexy beating and unbeating hearts

Victory Dance

Can I get a "whoop whoop!" for my main man, Sen. Barack Obama? By the end of the debate, Ethan was worried once again that it was too close to call. I reassured him that, despite everyone's expectations that tonight would be a blood bath, both candidates stuck to the issues and Obama always wins on the issues. The CNN poll confirmed this, though the spread was narrower than I thought it should be.

Ethan thought the debate was also very boring and many people in the blogosphere agree. Once again, that's because they stuck to the issues and the issues aren't exciting to the average viewer.

Andrew Sullivan (Republican), called it a MAULING--advantage Obama. He picked up on several things that I also found odd or troubling during the debate. Namely, McCain blowing off Obama's handshake at the end (I missed the first 20 mins, so I don't know if he shook his hand at the beginning), the "that one" comment, his weird habit of pacing behind Obama while Obama was talking, etc. He left out McCain calling for a spending freeze while simultaneously wanting to buy up bad mortgages, though.

There's also been a lot of post-debate hubbub about the McCains hightailing it out of the debate while the Obamas stayed to greet and talk to the crowd and give autographs and pose for photos. I thought that was very personable of them. I'm sure the McCain campaign will spin that as the Obamas acting like "celebrities." The talking heads kept asking "why" the McCains left so abruptly. Duh, because it was way past his bedtime.

Holy crap, I can't wait for the last debate.

If the McCain campaign has any sense whatsoever, which we've already established that it doesn't, they will cancel Palin's remaining stump speeches and hide her away from the public eye until election day. She is not helping them. AT ALL. I know it doesn't help the Democrats for me to keep reiterating this, but she's an embarrassment and a liability for the ticket. WHY DON'T THEY SEE THIS???? They're some willfully ignorant motherf*ckers.

Ethan just poked his head in to say, "Man, you got a lot to say about a BORING debate!" What can I say? I didn't find it as boring as most. I thought Barack was on message and smooth like butter. What more could the Dems ask for?

More Feedjit Fun

In the last 24 hours...

4 people arrived on my blog by searching "rivers cuomo bald spot"

1 person arrived by searching "pine cone fetish"

And countless others have arrived by searching some variation of "john mccain neck folds" and "like weird smells."

Each of the above is linked to the relevant post.

Can the McCain/Palin campaign get any shadier?

It appears as though the McCain campaign sent in operatives to hinder the Troopergate investigation. Palin repeatedly claims she has nothing to hide, so why not let the investigation proceed and be done with it?

If she truly has nothing to hide and allows authorities to complete the investigation, the matter could be wrapped up well before election day. A finding in her favor would render the investigation a non-issue.

This on the heels of McCain's pathetic publicity stunt re: suspending his campaign and returning to DC to single-handedly solve the financial crisis REEKS of desperation. Did anyone buy that for a single second? How could a candidate who's widely considered to be weak on economic issues be so crucial in orchestrating the bailout? What could he possibly have to contribute? That's a rhetorical question, btw.

I shall enjoy watching the campaign continue to implode over the remaining weeks until election day. With great glee. So, so much glee.

Ooh--update since I originally posted this! Looks like Johnny Boy is going to show up for the debate after all despite the bailout package not being finalized. Nice to know he's a man of his word and stands by his decisions regardless of public opinion. Fucking asshole. I hope the public backlash from this latest publicity stunt throws him off his game tonight.

Holy shit. I just agreed with Ari Fleischer.

Ari Fleischer is a pariah, as far as Ethan and I are concerned. He is the #1 Self-Hating Jew (what we call all republican Jews) in America. Joe Lieberman would be #2 (I know, he's technically an "independent," but if it quacks like a duck...).

However, as Ari spoke with David Gregory a few minutes ago on MSNBC, I found myself seconding his suggestion regarding Friday's debate. He made the point that with the country so up in arms over the financial crisis, a debate on foreign policy would get lost in the shuffle. Rather than postponing the debate, he suggested that they switch topics since a debate on the economy would be far more relevant.

I couldn't agree more. It has the added bonus of forcing both candidates to step up to the plate with less preparation. Perhaps they'll shoot from the hip rather than spout forth countless canned answers and catch phrases. I know this might not be the ideal situation for Obama, but as he's more informed and in touch with the average American (those making less than $5M/yr) regarding the economy than McCain, I think he'd do just fine.

I suppose we'll see what happens a little over 48 hours from now...

Update on Kim Jong-Il's Stroke

Though his status remains uncomfirmed, we now know the cause:

Kim Jong-Il: 'McCain Chose WHO?'

I'm not sure how I didn't hear about the stroke until today's NY Times, but there ya go...

My Brilliant Plan to Stimulate our Failing Economy...

It's very simple, and will cost the taxpayers zip, nada, zilch.

1. Charge Sarah Palin $1 every time she drops her Gs. It's not cute. It's not folksy. It makes her sound like an uneducated hick. I'm really looking forward to ridding the White House of those this election.

2. Charge her $5 every time she repeats that BS line about the Bridge to Nowhere.

3. Charge her and McCain $1 every time they mention the phrase "real change."

4. Charge anyone, anywhere $1 any time they refer to Todd Palin as "The First Dude."

5. Charge McCain $1 every time he loses track of what he's saying mid-sentence. This man shouldn't be president of anything other than the United States of Dementia.

I think that should take care of it. If I think of more, I'll add them later. Who knows, maybe my plan will generate enough cash to restore the budget surplus we were enjoying before the republicans seized office in 2000.

Satan Lives in John McCain's Neck Folds

I swear. I've seen him leering out through the curtains of crepe-like flesh hanging from McCain's chin. Be afraid, America...

When Turdblossom Thinks You've Gone Too Far...

You've gone waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far.

Rove: Some McCain ads don't pass '100 percent truth' test

Why isn't it November yet???

I have decided, after much thought, that I need to take a step back regarding this election. I'm not able to be as involved as I would like to be. I'm too pregnant to canvass (not that I've ever done that before--I don't like knocking on strangers' doors) or to host a fund raiser for my chosen candidate (take a wild guess. I'll give you a hint: As far as we know, he never called his wife a c-u-n-t in front of reporters). Ethan and I did the latter for the '04 election and actually managed to raise an impressive sum considering we only had about 15 people there.

I just don't have it in me to be as emotionally invested in this election as I was in the last one and it makes me very sad :(. The historic ramifications alone make me wish I had the energy to go (figurative) balls out and do all I can do to make sure America elects a president we can actually be proud of. I just don't have it in me this time, is all.

I can barely shower, dress, feed myself and get a couple of chores done in a day before collapsing for the evening. The constant exhaustion and helter skelter hormones leave me no choice but to deliberately avoid anything that might upset me. Election coverage is at the top of that list. I must also avoid sad/sappy movies and TV. Ethan is very stressed out about the recent bump in the polls McCain has received post-convention and post-nomination of Sarah Palin. I sure don't blame him, I just don't want to hear about it.

I know it sucks. It sucks that the election could be anywhere near this close at this point in the game. If the American people would ignore all the media talking heads and their sensationalism and actually focus on what the candidates have to say about the issues, the choice would be obvious and this election would be a mere formality.

Sadly, that's not the case. We love a dog and pony show! Don't make our heads hurt with all your brainy solutions to America's problems, just make us wanna have a beer with you. That's all that counts. Seriously? Is this how we decide who should lead our nation? That's a ginuwine polling question, folks. For the highest office in the land! I'm glad that's not how hospitals decide which surgeons to hire, or how schools select teachers, or how airlines select pilots (although there have been a few stories that would make one think otherwise).

So anyway, on to the point of this post--because it's late and I'm sleepy. I've decided all I can do for the duration is to throw money at my candidate when possible, show up on voting day, push the button and wash my hands of the whole shebang. And I have to feel OK with this. It's all I have the emotional and physical energy for right now.

And a direct plea to Obama campaign advisors--Playing nice is all well and good when your opponent reciprocates. We dems tend to take the high road out of principle. It's honorable, but there's far too much at stake in this election. You have my express permission to do whatever it takes to get the job done. The uninsured and working poor of this country are depending on you. Don't sacrifice them for your principles.