John Kerry isn't getting another red cent from me...

He's raised over $230 million so far--more than any other democrat ever. WHAT IS HE DOING WITH IT????

He has two months to bring out the big guns and spend the bulk of the cash his supporters worked so hard to raise for him and he'd better do it.

I'm an eternal optimist, so I still think he's just picking his moment very carefully. We shall see. The suspense is killing me.

I work hard (sometimes) for my money and I want to know it's being spent wisely and for its intended purpose--to defeat Bush.

I'm sure I don't need to point out...

That the content of the previous posting constitutes a


FLIP FLOP


on the part of the Bush administration--though apparently he denied that they had altered their view on this matter even though it's well documented that they have. Idiot.

Hell Freezes Over (While the Polar Ice Caps Melt)

In a new report to congress, Bush and his administration have finally admitted that carbon dioxide and other heat-trapping gases "are the only likely explanation for global warming over the last three decades."

In a separate statement Bush conceded that the earth was, indeed, spherical and that "maybe there's somethin' to this whole evolution monkey business after all."

In the News

The number of Americans living in poverty has increased by 1.3 million in the past year and the number of uninsured by 1.4 million. Chew on that for a while. Still turning that corner, I guess.

On a lighter note, the banana split turned 100 yrs. old yesterday! Happy Birthday to one of America's favorite desserts. I think the Bush administration should hand out free banana splits to the 36 million Americans living in poverty. It might make them feel better about being so poor. I know when I'm sad about something, a banana split sure turns my frown upside down.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

About 4 to 6 weeks ago I interviewed with a company similar to my current one. You can check out their website, though it's not even remotely interesting to anyone outside the medical education and pharmaceutical communities (www. cognimed.net).

I interviewed with two different people and it seemed to go really well--and I don't say that lightly. I'm very clueless when it comes to sensing whether others like me and even I could tell it went well. So I was surprised when I didn't here back and chalked it up to me wanting too much money. Lo and behold, last week I get a call out of the blue that they want me to return to interview with the company's president who happens to be a member of the tribe (though I didn't use that to my advantage:)). So I meet with him and one other individual this afternoon and it goes really well again--the president says "You'll definitely here from us within a week" and the other dude says he thinks I'd be a "good fit" and that the other people I'd met with had all good stuff to say about me.

So I'm thinking it's pretty much in the bag (knocking on wood as I type this) and now I just need to sit tight and wait for an offer. Hopefully it'll be significantly more than what I'm making now (I'd even settle for 5k more at this point).

Anyhoo, keep your fingers crossed for me. We can use a lucky break after the year we've had. And keep your fingers crossed for Ethan, too. Sitting around the house with only animals for company is making him a little kookoo for cocoa puffs. If we could ever use a dose of good karma, it's now.

In other news:

1. We've started going back to the gym after months of lethargy and girth expansion. I haven't walked without a limp in about a week. Still, it's a good hurt.

2. Is John Kerry TRYING to lose the election? He really needs to come out with a stronger rebuttal to the Swift Boat Veterans for Diabolical Deception than what he's put out so far. I appreciate that he's trying to stay positive and not sink to their level, but one can only turn the other cheek so many times, and that would be once. When you run out of cheeks, it's time for the gloves to come off and my money's on Kerry in a bare knuckle brawl against Georgie any day.

I'm counting on the K-Man to whoop the "Speaker of Very Short Sentences" (as Garrison Keillor referred to him) in the upcoming debates. So long as he doesn't show obvious signs of frustration and exasperation like Gore, I think it's a lock. A girl can dream....

Which is exactly what I'm off to do. It's late and I can't go kamikaze at the old job until the offer letter for the new one is signed (assuming it's coming, that is--don't want to jinx anything).

Night night. Sleep tight. Don't let the Republicans bite.

Little Things Make Me Happy

I finally got around to buying myself a radio to put in my cube so I can listen to Air America while I work. Now I can listen to Al Franken and my new Jewish boyfriend, Marc Maron, at work as well as at home and in the car. Good stuff.

Have you heard the laughably propagandistic commercials from the Saudi govt. re: the 9/11 commission? Pathetic. That's it. I have nothing insightful to say about it. The news is pretty thin today, sadly.

My Dogs Hate Me

For making them wear embarrassing shit like this. It wasn't enough that they had to endure going to the groomer's today, but we got home to find that my order from Glamour Dog had arrived.

What you can't see in the picture is that Lulu's hoodie sweatshirt has a flower and the phrase "Daddy's Girl" embroidered on it. Freddie has one in blue with a dog and the words "Mommy's Boy" on it. To my knowledge, he is still under the couch, humiliated, but hasn't actually tried to chew it off yet. Maybe if he comes out I can get a decent picture of him in it.

Lulu fantasizing about the night I sleep soundly enough that she can gnaw all the way through my jugular with her little chiclet teeth without waking me up.  

Sorry, Charley

As the two (?) of you who occasionally read this know, Ethan is in Florida looking after his father who just had surgery. He's slated to return home tomorrow afternoon. For two weeks I have been looking forward to tomorrow, so if Hurricane Charley thinks he's going to throw a monkey wrench in my plans (or an uprooted palm tree), he's got another think comin'.

Neither Hell nor hurricane hath wrath like a woman in the throes of PMS who hasn't been in close proximity to a man in a fortnight. I'm already mere millimeters from insanity at this point, Charley. Don't push me. You still have a chance to veer off at the last minute and go whirling out into the Atlantic. You might want to consider that if you know what's good for you.

Aside: You know someone's egotistical when they threaten the weather.

In Other News: A 480 lb. woman in Florida died as rescue workers tried to remove her from her couch to which she had grown fast after six years of not moving from it. See article here. Her skin had literally become one with the fabric of the couch. My question is, how long do you have to stay put before you start to grow fast? In six years of couch sitting, assuming she wasn't the full 480 pounds at the beginning, wouldn't you change position occasionally? Maybe get up to fluff the cushions? Or go to the bathroom for crying out loud? Why didn't the man living with her seek help? Did she ever ask for it? I feel so terrible for her.

Ethan, if I ever reach 480 lbs. and can no longer remove myself from the futon please, please, PLEASE promise me you'll get help. I can't imagine being so fat that I'm unable to even get up to get more food, though sometimes I feel like I'm well on my way. Imagine being such a couch potato that you actually put down roots!

That's it for now kids. Time to work.

That's more like it

Big ups to France for arresting the culprits so quickly. Way to put your argent where your bouche is, for a change. I retract my "France, schmance" comment for now. On peut lire l'article ici.

Like I said: France, Schmance

Jewish Graves Desecrated in France

LYON, France (AP) -- Vandals scrawled anti-Semitic graffiti on dozens of tombstones in Lyon overnight, authorities said Tuesday, the third time a Jewish cemetery has been desecrated this year.
Swastikas and inscriptions with Adolf Hitler's name were painted on headstones in de la Mouche cemetery in this southern French city, the same burial site that was desecrated by skinheads in 1992.
Richard Wertenschlag, Lyon's chief rabbi, told France Info radio that the vandalism was an affront to the Jewish community and to France's values.
"How is it that after the Holocaust, someone can still attack Jews -- even those who are dead -- for the simple reason that they are Jews?" he said.
The vandalized graves were at the back of the cemetery, a distance from the guardian's house, and among its oldest tombs. A monument to Jewish World War II soldiers was also covered with graffiti, the French Veterans Affairs Ministry said.
The crime drew the swift condemnation of the French government.
"The perpetrators of this outrage are being actively pursued," President Jacques Chirac said in a letter to Marcel Dreyfus, a local Jewish leader in Lyon. "They will be punished to the maximum extent the law allows."
In the Czech Republic, dozens of tombstones have been found toppled at a Jewish cemetery in the eastern of town Hranice, police said Tuesday.
Spokeswoman Michaela Sedlackova said that some 80 tombstones were overturned in the cemetery in the town 187 miles east of Prague. She said it was not clear when the incident happened. The cemetery dates to the 17th century. Sigmund Freud's brother, Julius, was buried there in 1858.
In France in May, swastikas and other anti-Semitic graffiti were scrawled on 127 headstones at a Jewish cemetery in the Alsatian town of Herrlisheim. And last month, vandals painted swastikas and Satanic symbols on 32 tombstones at a Jewish cemetery in Saverne, also in Alsace. Muslim and Christian cemeteries have also been vandalized.
Despite a series of government measures, anti-Semitic violence has increased in recent years in France, coinciding with rising tensions between Israelis and Palestinians. Authorities have blamed young French Muslims for some of the violence.
A recent report by the French Interior Ministry found 510 anti-Jewish acts or threats in the first six months of the year, compared with 593 for all of 2003.

Jewish students attacked at Auschwitz

The headline alone sent me into a rage-induced seizure before I even read the article.

Liberal as I am, I'm starting to think that Sharon's call to French Jews to emigrate to Israel was not so irrational after all. It's clear the French have a real problem with anti-semitism and that they're doing very little to control it.

And don't give me that "What do you expect with the Israeli occupation of Palestine" bullshit. America isn't so popular right now either, but you hear far fewer tales of American tourists being attacked in Europe--if any.

So now, a message to every Jew in France:

Get out while you can, bubbe. It's not safe there. Neither is Israel. Come to New York, we'll take care of you. One or two of you can even crash on our futon. France, SCHMANCE!!

Heaven Isn't too Far Away...

Never were Warrant lyrics so dead on. Heaven isn't too far away, it's in the snack machine in my very own office. I went there just now expecting to find the usual pedestrian snacks when mine eyes did fall upon the most beauteous sight they have ever beheld--Reese's Inside Out peanut butter cups. Peanut butter on the outside, chocolate within.

Now, regular Reese's peanut butter cups are still my number one chocolaty treat of choice, but as I tend to crave peanut butter when I'm "hormonal," I could not have stumbled upon a more perfect snack. God bless the good folks at Reese's and keep up the good work!

A Call to Minorities Thinking of Voting Republican...

This past Friday Bush came out against legacy admissions to colleges.

Take a second and read that one again.

This past Friday Bush came out against legacy admissions to colleges.

You wanna know why? Because our anti-affirmative action president thinks that legacy admissions limit university access to minorities!! And, unlike affirmative action, eliminating legacy admissions doesn't cost taxpayers one red cent.

Now, I'm all for eliminating legacy admissions, but in conjunction with affirmative action. If nothing else, eliminating legacy admissions means that knuckleheads like the POTUS will not be taking up valuable seats in our nation's finest halls of learning. If it weren't for legacy, he'd be lucky to have a degree from Midland Community College (if there is such an institution).

So I say unto my non-caucasian friends: George Bush does not give one rat's ass if you go to college, receive a quality education and make a better life for yourself and your family. The legacy bs is pure appeasement and sleight of hand. He wants you to think he supports greater access to universities for minorities, but he could not care less. This is one more example of his compassionless conservatism--he's just gotten better at packaging it. Don't be duped like the 50% of my fellow caucasians who still think he's the best man for the nation's highest office. I beg you.

No Comment Necessary

I heard about this yesterday and just had to share.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said. "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

full article: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/military/20040805-1048-bushism.html

Nostalgia Creeping In

How old are we when we first think to ourselves that today's music just isn't quite as good as yesterday's? 26? 28? I'm 30 and I definitely feel that way. I haven't quite reached the point where I think today's music is entirely unlistenable--there's some really good stuff out there--but most of it just sounds like crap to me. Have my tastes become more refined or am I just out of touch (read: fucking old and lame)?

I'm only contemplating this less-than-original subject because I downloaded some Cure tonight from iTunes because most of my Cure is on dubbed cassettes that are a good 15 yrs. old. I have to say, though not my favorite of all the Cure songs (I'd be hard pressed to pick a favorite), Just Like Heaven is quite possibly the most perfect pop song ever written. Every time I hear it I have to fight the urge to pinwheel and I wish I was a 15 yr. old goofy goth girl again :). Good stuff.

In other news: (file under TMI) My ovarian cysts are flaring up again. The literature says they can swell up to the size of grapefruits, but I'd swear mine are more like cantaloupes. As such, I am VERY IRRITABLE AND GENERALLY NOT NICE TO BE AROUND RIGHT NOW.

I feel like Violet Beauregard from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory minus the blueish hue and incessant gum chewing. Where are the Oompa Loompas to roll me to the juicing room when I need them???? Lazy little fucks. They're like mini-Teamsters. Just 'cause they're union they think they can slack and get away with it. Oompa-Loompa-doompity-doo, I've got a pink slip to give to you.

The kittens are gone as of tomorrow. Woohoo! Taking bets right now on how long it will take me to find the last hidden pile of poop once they're gone. I don't know that I'll ever find all of them. I've been searching for the one by the computer for at least a week now with no luck and it still stinks. Perhaps the poop smell is just permanently ensconced in my nostrils and I just THINK there's kitten feces everywhere.

Whatever, that's our good samaritan deed for the foreseeable future. That karma should last us at least a few months. I would love to sit here and blog all night, but sitting on this uncomfortable wooden chair has completely paralyzed my ass.

Nighty night, sweet bitches! XOXOXO

Funniest thing EVER of all time

If you have not yet seen the video of Will Ferrell playing W trying to film a campaign commercial, go here and then come back and kiss my tootsies in thanks.

Will Ferrell is a comedy GOD.

John McCain: A Rare Breed

A respectable Republican!

McCain condemns anti-Kerry ads, calls on White House to follow suit

Enough Already

Day 5 without my loyal sidekick/husband by my side. Enough already, I say. Being apart this past week while Ethan's looking after his dad in FL has taught me some valuable lessons:

1. Sitting your fat ass in front of the TV for 6 hrs. a night isn't nearly as fun by yourself as it is with a partner. At least with a partner you feel like you're both sharing in something which lends the experience a bullshit air of participation and engagement.

2. Eight animals are FAR too many for one person to look after. If I'm not filling a food bowl, letting someone in or out, or chasing someone off the counter/kitchen table/coffee table, I'm finding piles of poop, pee, or puke all around the apartment (usually with my bare feet). I now have this new game where I try to guess what I've just stepped in by feel before I look down to confirm my guess. I've gotten really good at it. Add that to my ever growing list of useless talents.

3. The reason I don't usually step in this stuff is because Ethan's usually the one to clean it up. He's also the one who scoops the litter boxes and picks up the doggie doo on walks. I really need to be more appreciative of him and share the burden. I didn't realize how horrible it was. The last 5 days my life has pretty much been cleaning up poop--occasionally interrupted by brief spurts of work, sleep, and TV viewing.

I'm so bored and lazy in his absence I can't even finish this blog entry properly. Pardon if it just fizzles out right here at the end.

Well look at that!

Apparently, there IS a time frame now. Well I'll be....And this from British intelligence. Please remember that British intelligence ALSO thought that Saddam had WMD. You'd think by now that Blair and British intelligence agencies would want to sever themselves as cleanly as possible from this administration. Guess not.

In other news: At his appearance at the Rose Garden, Bush implied that Kerry and the Democrats want to "appease" the terrorists, which is an outright lie--undoubtedly told with that aggravating little sneer of his. He's also said that, knowing what he knows now, he STILL would have invaded Iraq because: a) Saddam had the capability of producing WMD (no he didn't), b) the WMD may still be found (no they won't), and c) Saddam had terrorist ties (not really--and certainly not to 9/11). See Salon's War Room for the exact quotes.

It would be one thing if Bush had negative ammo against Kerry that was credible (really credible, not credible like the intelligence that sent us to war in Iraq), but he DOESN'T!! The Republican convention hasn't even taken place, we're not even into the genuine presidential campaign season and he's already resorting to disinformation, innuendo and LIES. He's in deep doodoo. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, Georgie.

Scare America

Looks like the Bushies and the Department of Homeland Paranoia have done it again. However, unlike the numerous, strategically timed terror warnings of the past, this one was much more specific and the implication was that they had definite information about Al-Qaeda "planning attacks" on financial institutions in New York and DC although there was no "time frame." The threat level was increased to Orange Plus (I've got my spine...I've got my Orange Plus, to paraphrase an old R.E.M. song).

Tom Ridge and his big, scary head came on TV to raise the spectre of the terrorist bogeyman once again. Security was increased outside the aforementioned targets including heavily armed police officers in body armor with bomb sniffing dogs to (purportedly) make us feel more secure. Yet again, we were told to "go about our daily lives" while "remainging vigilant."

Which makes the news that the information all this hubbub was based on is 3 to 4 yrs. old absolutely INFURIATING!! They failed to mention this completely during the original press conferences, but once the media got hold of their deception they quickly backpedaled by saying that the initial surveillance of the targets took place in 2000 or 2001, but that it had been "updated" January of this year. Still, there is no time frame for the impending attacks. What an ingenious way to keep us good and scared indefinitely (or at least until November 3rd).

I'm not 100% sure that this warning is politically motivated, but it is suspect at the very least. And I feel America is getting very tired of the government crying wolf. I'd rather we be overprotected than underprotected, but be honest with us. These targets could have been attacked any time within the past 3 years and they'd have been wholly unprotected. We're very fortunate that that wasn't the case, but now that we're making such a big stink about protecting them, wouldn't the terrorists find alternate targets if they're really planning an attack??

At the very least, "President" Bush is doing his best to implement the recommendations of the 9/11 Commission (the formation of which he vehemently opposed and in front of which he refused to officially testify, remember) in a speedy fashion. That's literally the least he could do. Good on ya, W. It's nice to know "America's safer.." in these "...dangerous times" with you at the helm.

Loki takes it up the bung from BonBon. Note the wholly disinterested expression on Loki's face. 

The new love of Freddie's life.  

When the Cat's Away...

You would not believe the crazy insane stuff I've gotten up to since Ethan's gone off to Florida. Friday night alone I did something I never would have been able to do if he'd been home: I watched the final installment of Lord of the Rings (SCANDALOUS!).

Yesterday I accompanied Dina to a chihuahua pool party where I was treated to a live gay chihuahua sex show (Dina's supposed to e-mail me the photographic evidence). Ok, so it was techinically a bi sex show, because the same two boys (Loki and BonBon), were tag teaming Dina's chihuahua Molly when they weren't banging each other. Who knew such little dogs could be so horny? Watching their tawdry carnal display made me miss Ethan all the more :).

The party took place in a chichi little dog store in the east village. I couldn't leave without something for the Sincoff pups, so I bought some brushes and a new squeaky monkey. Squeaky Monkey #1 was Fred's favorite toy of all time until his demise when Lulu's little chiclet teeth punctured his squeaker. Now that he's squeakless, they ignore him like he's really dead. When I saw Squeaky II at the store, I had to buy him. The kids flipped out when I took him out of the bag. They haven't stopped playing with him since. I think Freddie even slept with him.

I know I promised no more dog blogs for a while, but I couldn't help it.

In other animal news, the kittens are still here and more rambunctious than ever. While watching LOTR Friday night and eating Doritos, Fugly (the white/tabby) and Shaggy (the long hair) both launched themselves at my head simultaneously. Fug commenced biting my lip while Shaggy attacked my neck. I have no idea what that was about, but for one split second I thought it might be the end of me. I had visions of Ethan coming home to find my picked-clean skeleton on the futon with 2 fat, wild-eyed kittens curled up on my ribcage. I fear for my safety now that the two of them have tasted human flesh.

The third, non-man-meat-hungry kitten is the fastest thing I have ever seen. I think she's part cheetah. It took me a good 30 mins to catch her last night so I could put them all in their cage before going to bed.

I'm off to slack. I don't feel like accomplishing much today besides finishing my book and napping. It's raining, so it's the perfect sort of day for those activities.