I think I've finally reached the point in my life (and therapy) where I'm finally ready to face all the bs I've been conveniently ignoring for years and JUST FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
Although I am sure I will live to regret this, I have decided to set about the task of ridding my mind and my life of my emotional clutter by banishing the real, tangible clutter clogging every available surface of my house. Granted, my apartment is not worthy of a "Hoarders" episode--yet--but I am determined to get things (and therefore ME) under control before a team of psychiatrists, professional organizers, and refuse removal men are required to dig me out from under hundreds of pounds of soiled adult diapers and mummified cats.
That is not the part I fear I will live to regret. This is: I am going to blog about it. I will openly and honestly report my progress on a daily basis--even if it's just 1 or 2 paragraphs about what I threw out or scrubbed or freecycled that day. After I've been at it a few days, I may even include pictures of my progress. I'm hoping that my commitment to blogging this experiment will force me to stick to my guns, so I'm counting on my beloved reader(s) to hold me accountable and kick my ass as necessary. Words of encouragement are also welcome, but as the saying goes, "You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but a dead squirrel works best." Please feel free to not just flame me, but to RAKE ME OVER THE FUCKING COALS if I slack. I'm 36 goddamned years old. Enough is enough.
As my regular reader(s) know(s), I have been suffering from depression off and on for the last 6 years due to 3 pregnancy losses and the prolonged illness and recent death of my father. I'm done. It's enough now. I know I can't just decide to be done being depressed, but I can decide to stop letting it keep me from doing what needs to be done--for my sake, my husband's, and--most importantly--my son's. And once my emotional/spiritual house and physical apartment are in order, I'll shift focus to my emotional eating hobgoblin, though I'm hoping he'll get kicked to the curb as I'm cleaning house.
Tomorrow is Day One. Report to follow tomorrow evening after therapy, dinner, and Jeopardy! Interested to see what the shrink thinks of this plan. I'm sure he'll support it.
Full disclosure: I am currently having a mild anxiety attack that is keeping me from hitting "publish" on this. Deep breaths...OK. Here we go.
Carnage and Cravenness: Gun Violence In America
10 years ago
10 comments:
You go girl!!!! Nothing like taking the bull by the horns! VH
You go girl!!!! Nothing like taking the bull by the horns! VH
OK, I am with you on this one! My house is a disaster area and this summer is it! I promise to check in and encourage you.
Thanks, Vick! And AWESOME, Jeanne!!! You should blog about it too, and then we can keep tabs on e/o! :)
yeah, you sound like a lovely,determined, youny woman.you will accomplish this, i know you when you set your mind to something, there's nothing you can't do...
Cleaning and organizing is good, but I always remember to forgive myself for procrastination too.
Good for you honey :)
I'm afraid I can't rake you over any coals as that would make me the biggest hypocrite EVER but hopefully you'll inspire me to get moving myself!!! :)
But sending positive and encouraging vibes from down here :)
Thanks, Soup! Just don't throw your back out, or I'll feel responsible! :)
that's another thing to tackle exercise!!!!!( to keep the back pain down amongst other things!!!)You'd think I'd be motivated to do that since I am a fat bastard.... but apparently not... still trying to amp myself up top go for a walk this morning!!!
YAY, Vicki!! I'm proud of you for your strength. (I always am, but sometimes forget to tell you stuff.) You know...when the house is in order it will make it easier to move, too, in case you need to move closer to someone who loves you and needs your support if she is ever going to exercise regularly. (We'd be such awesome workout buddies, no??)
Post a Comment