Forgive Me, Blog Readers, for I Have Sinned...

It's been almost a year since my last blog post. A lot has happened in this past year. Tobin learned to crawl, then walk in rapid succession. He's popped 7 pearly white teeth through his little pink gums. We celebrated his first birthday in style both in PA and NJ last December. We spent many weekends (and weekdays) at Grandma and Grandpa K's house watching my parents gobble him up and cackle at his antics. Not a bad year all told, but, sadly, my father finally lost his battle with cancer on Friday, March 19.

I'm so glad we made the most of what time he had left and visited as much as we possibly could. I'm saddened that Tobin will most likely only know him from pictures, but happy that my husband, mother and I have countless memories to share with him as he grows up. I'm not ready to write an elaborate, pages-long account of my father's passing and how I'm coping. Not sure if I ever will be, but I'd like to wrap up this post with the two most important lessons my father taught me which I fully intend to pass on to his beloved grandson.

First: Things are never as scary as your imagination makes them out to be. From the time I was 3, we began making yearly visits to Hershey Park. For the first 6 of those visits, my father was forced to ride the roller coasters by himself (ask my mother why that was and she'll tell you an amusing tale involving pants-wetting and, I believe, a brief loss of consciousness). The summer I was 9, he finally convinced me to get on a roller coaster with him for the first time. I was PETRIFIED. He chose the Trailblazer for my inaugural ride since it was the tamest of the big coasters at the park. I LOVED it. Soon we were on to the Super Duper Looper. I can't recall if I also tackled the Comet that same trip, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad. To this day, I credit him with my ability to just "jump" and trust that everything will be okeedokee.

Second: I'm OK--and lovable--just the way I am. Every Christmas I would ask my grandmother for Matchbox Cars or something similarly tomboyish and every year she would give me a doll in her futile attempt to make me girlie. My father was always happy to indulge my tomboy side. We played catch and caught all manner of creepy crawlies and slimy things together. He even took me fishing once or twice. But my favorite memory of all is the Christmas I received the electric racetrack I so desperately wanted. He put it together and we played with it for hours. At some point it disappeared. I can't recall when or why, but I suspect my mom got sick of it taking up so much of her living room. She's welcome to correct me here if I'm wrong :).

I'm sure similar lessons will occur to me as time passes and long-forgotten memories surface, but those are the two "biggies."

Love and miss you, Daddy. So glad you're at peace now. xoxo

Don't Call it a Comeback...

Especially since I can't promise how soon I'll be able to update again. Just popping in to let everyone know that things are going wonderfully. Tobin is 4 months old now and far more interactive than the last time I posted.

My days are spent singing, playing, reading, feeding, changing, and cleaning. In the breaks in between, I try to get some chores done, run the odd errand or catch up on my reading or shows I've DVR'd. Tobe really, really likes to stand and bounce right now. He does a good job of it on my or Daddy's lap and in the exersaucer, but I see a Johnny Jump Up in his near future. He also loves to hear himself talk and scream. His nurse at his 4 month checkup last week exclaimed that she'd never heard a baby his age talk so much and squeal so loud. That's something coming from a pediatric nurse who sees babies day in day out. He's rolling over, his coordination is improving, he's starting solid foods--I can't believe how fast it's going.

I can honestly say that I'm having the time of my life right now. For the last 4 months I've been doing the one thing I've wanted to do my whole life and it couldn't be better. I wake up every day to a gorgeous baby boy who's thrilled to see me and start our day together. Every smile and giggle I elicit throughout the day makes me feel like I'm really cut out for this Mommy gig.

That doesn't mean that every second is indescribable joy. Some days I'm just burnt out. Catering to a tiny dictator 24/7 can take its toll. On those days I hand him over to Daddy as soon as he gets home from work and head to the tub with whatever book I'm reading and a glass of wine. Two weekends ago the BFF and I ran off to Mohegan Sun for a girlie weekend while Ethan looked after Tobin full time. It was FANTASTIC! Booze, slots, food, shopping, having the bed to myself--bliss!

I must commend Ethan for the wonderful job he did looking after our son in my absence. I was nervous the first night, but when I woke up the next morning and everyone was fine (though sleep-deprived), I relaxed and was able to enjoy the rest of my weekend. Still, it was tough being away from my boys for even that short a time. I think Ethan and Tobin benefitted from 2 days of father/son bonding without Mom's interference, despite how tired everyone looked when I got home.

We spent this past weekend in PA visiting my folks. I love seeing Tobin interact with his grandparents. They clearly love him to pieces and he eats it up. He took a long nap on his Grandma after trying to pick the flowers off her shirt for many minutes. Last time I accused her of soaking her shirt in chloroform. This time I think she wore the shirt equivalent of the poppy field in The Wizard of Oz. Poor little guy didn't stand a chance.

I must take this opportunity to give major props to my husband for toughing it out at a less than fulfilling job right now so I can be home with Tobin. I know how tough it is to get up every day and go to a job you hate and I empathize with him and appreciate everything he does for our family. I hope the Job Fairy throws him a bone very soon, regardless how shitty the job market is right now.

I have nothing of real importance to post about right now--no current events or political musings. Just checking in to say I'm still alive and deliriously happy though crazy busy. I do waste a lot of time on Facebook, so feel free to friend me and check in with me there.

Checking In--Again

Just a quick update to let everyone know I'm still alive. Much like my BFF, I have recently been sucked into the Facebook vortex and find it difficult to wrest myself from its steely grip (man, I love mixed metaphors).

As you might suspect, the bulk of my time of late is spent looking after Tobin. He just turned 2 mos old last week. He did wonderfully at his checkup and is fit as a fiddle. He's changed so much since my last post. He smiles all the time now, laughs occasionally, stares at EVERYTHING as if he's memorizing it for future reference, and holds his head up full time without support.

I can put him down now at least twice a day for 20 to 30 mins while he amuses himself kicking, punching and cooing. Another recent development is that he seems content to sit in his chair while Daddy and I eat dinner so long as he can see us. That's a biggie! Until recently we'd take turns holding him so the other could eat. Now we feed him, plop him in his chair and chow down while watching that night's DVRed Bones rerun. Ahh, domesticity.

Hopefully these "independent" periods will increase over the next few weeks so I can get back to some semi-serious blogging about topical issues (and ointments). Count yourselves lucky that I've been too busy to blog. My brain has been absolute mush the past 2 mos and it's only recently begun to solidify once again. I actually passed up taking the online Jeopardy! qualifying test because I knew I wasn't my usual razor-sharp, trivia queen self and didn't want to blow it. I'll catch it next time around.

We had 2 lovely parties for friends and fam to meet Tobe--1 in NJ and 1 in PA. The Pennsylvania party was just yesterday. I'll post pics from both once I get the PA pics uploaded.

I think the biggest surprise the past 2 months have brought is just how normal this all feels. After enduring 5 years of horrific, horrific shit trying to create a family, I thought every single moment and milestone would seem monumental. I fully expected to be dropping to my knees every five minutes thanking the gods in heaven for finally blessing us with a happy, healthy child. I'm far too busy and distracted for that. When hit with the realization that I'm actually doing something I'd only previously dreamed about, I always expect to burst into tears. That was the case the first week or two, but now my reaction is more along the lines of "Oh, hey! Lookit that!" and then I get on with business.

I expect this, too, will fade over time until I (almost, not quite) begin to take it all for granted. That would be the ultimate blessing. There's still a little corner of my mind that's waiting for the other shoe to drop. I actually had a dream a few weeks ago that someone from the hospital came to take Tobin "back" like he was a library book we'd borrowed and was now overdue. As if life hasn't screwed with my psyche enough, my subconscious adds insult to injury. Typical me. I'm my own worst enemy.

Checking In

It's been a little while since I posted. Although there's been a fair amount of news to comment on, I haven't felt like commenting. I really don't wish to open up the can of worms in whoopass sauce that is the current Israel/Hamas situation. Being Jewish, I'm sure you can guess where I stand on that one, so I'll leave it at that. I will add that I don't always fully support the way Israel goes about dealing with these situations, but I don't have to go about my daily life wondering if my bus or the cafe I'm lunching in will blow up or if a Hamas rocket will come careening through my child's bedroom window in the middle of the night. Okay, so I kind of commented anyway. Sue me.

I was, however, tickled by this AP article this morning:

Minn. board expected to announce Al Franken winner

Do I think he'll be a good senator? No friggin' idea. Am I thrilled that he's winning simply because he's a democrat and will therefore increase the democratic majority in the senate? Sure. Besides, it's just a senate seat. It's not a real position of power like, say, mayor of Wasilla or some prestigious shit like that.

In familial news, things are chugging along chez Sincoff. Most days go fairly smoothly, though the baby does still have rough nights. He's changing so much day by day. His accidental smiles are now bigger and more frequent and less accidental. He doesn't scream bloody murder every time we change his diaper or outfit, just most times. He's acquired 3 different sounds that he employs often. One is a "monster sound," as I call it--sort of a growl. The second is a very piggy snort he makes when he gets all excited just before latching on or taking a bottle. The third is the cutest little high-pitched sigh I've ever heard. Sort of like "Hooo..." He makes that noise just before resting his head on my or his dad's chest and falling asleep. Can't wait to hear him laugh for the first time!

As if that's not enough, he turned 1 month old yesterday. Has it really been a month since he erupted from my uterus? Can't believe it. Here's a pic of my 1 month-old little devil after his bath yesterday.

I know I'm biased, but CHRIST!! Has there ever been a cuter kid? I think not.

Caylee Anthony Update

It's been quite some time since I blogged on this subject. There simply wasn't much news about the case, and I was busy preparing for the birth of our son.

Finally, on December 11th, the announcement came that the remains of a small child had been found in close proximity to the Anthony home. This announcement didn't jar me. I totally expected it and knew it was merely a matter of time. I knew it was Caylee--who else would it be?--and waited patiently for the DNA evidence to confirm what everyone already knew.
However, when Dr. G finally made the announcement this past Friday, I burst into tears; partly because it looked like Dr. G was choking back tears herself, partly because my new mommy hormones were still settling, but mostly out of sadness for a beautiful little girl who didn't deserve whatever horrible things happened to her to cause her death. Somehow the finding of her remains rendered her far more real to me than the phantom missing girl in the photos and video clips I'd been seeing for months.

I've only been a mommy a little more than 2 weeks now, but I can't possibly comprehend how anyone could do such a thing to her own child. I know there are those of you who still may doubt whether Casey is responsible or whether Caylee's death was an accident or murder, but give me a break, please. She was buried in a location her mother used as a fucking pet cemetery and, from the sound of things, wasn't even buried with the same care as the pets had been. Bottom line: the little girl died in such a way that her mother felt compelled to cover it up and dispose of her body. This boils down to gross neglect at the very least, and murder at the very worst. The fact that the grandparents have requested immunity (still waiting to hear whether this has been granted) implies some manner of wrongdoing on their parts--even if only obstruction of justice.

I can only hope that everyone involved in Caylee's death and the ensuing cover-up are held accountable for their deeds and sentenced accordingly. In a snippet from one of Casey Anthony's prison phone calls she says that her "gut feeling" is that Caylee is "OK and close to home." At least that last part was truthful.

Post-Partum Post

Just a quick update before Tobe and Daddy wake up.

The Man, The Myth, The Legend, Tobin Samuel Sincoff, has arrived! He was born at 4:47 pm on Thursday, December 4, 2008 weighing in at 6 lb 5 oz and measuring 18 1/2 inches. He is fantastically beautiful and healthy.

Ethan and I are exhausted, but overjoyed. My boys are napping on the couch as I type this (Tobe's in the Baby Hawk carrier strapped to Ethan's chest). I'm taking advantage of this break in the action for some "me time"--checking email and posting to the ol' blog.

The surgery went off w/o a hitch. I'm still a little sore, so utilizing my Percoset Rx, but feel great in general.

BFF Kayly is here to help (bless her heart). She made us a wonderful dinner tonight and saw me through my first sleep dep/hormonal imbalance shitfit. I felt soooooooooooooooo much better afterward.

I'm going to wake the little man up for pre-bed feeding in the hopes that he'll give Ethan and I at least 3 good hours of uninterrupted sleep. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

I'll leave you with a picture of Tobin emerging in all his purple, screaming glory and my favorite picture of our very first meeting. I'll post more pics when I'm well-rested enough that I remember to pull my underwear down before peeing. A crisis was narrowly averted, but it took me a sec to figure out why the seat wasn't cold.

Ooey gooey, fresh and jewy!!

So you're the little punk that's been pulverizing my innards for months...

OH! And congratulations to my friends Till and Sophie who both celebrated the births of beautiful baby girls on December 6th and 9th respectively. Discussions of arranged marriages and dowries are already in progress...

And Away We Go...

Not just yet. We've got about 90 mins until we head off.

Somehow I managed to get a good night's sleep, which was wonderful. Now I'm just hungry and dying for a cup of coffee. Ethan's running out to pick up some last minute things (like cat food, so we don't come home to 2 fur-covered skeletons), but I'm ready to go. Just a few more things to throw in the suitcase.

For my "going in" outfit, I've selected a black Maternity T and stretchy black crop pants. The pregnant ninja effect will be offset by my sock monkey slippers. Fuck shoes. Shoes are for bitches.

I was debating makeup since Ethan will be taking pictures in the OR, but I'll probably just save it for visitors from Friday on. I need to embrace the fact that it's perfectly acceptable for me to look exhausted and haggard today.

At this exact moment, I feel surprisingly calm. I've been through the procedure before, so I'm not in the least anxious about that. I'm trying to go into this thing with a confident, semi-cocky "of course everything's going to be fine!" attitude for a change. So far I've managed to muster a very zen, letting-go "nothing I can do from this point on..." attitude instead. It'll do in a pinch.

Boyfriend of the Week

I've decided to add a new weekly feature to the blog dedicated to my "Boyfriend of the Week." It drives Ethan nuts whenever I suggest, no matter how subtly, that I might find a particular celeb or artist attractive, yet it's perfectly fine for him to do the same--even going so far as making borderline inappropriate comments about the barely legal girls on Degrassi: Next Generation.

The honor of being my first ever BOTW goes to the insanely talented, eternally cool, undeniably sexy Mr. Elvis Costello. His new series, Spectacle, debuts on the Sundance Channel tonight at 9:00 pm. I can't wait to see it. He's bound to be a fantastic interviewer. He's also being nominated for his hysterically funny performance in Stephen Colbert's Christmas special.

Swoon...

Proud papa. He can rub my bump any day. Oops, did I type that out loud?
Accidents will happen...

Congratulations Elvis--on the new show and on being my inaugural Boyfriend of the Week!

One More Day

We got up far too early this morning to go to the Pathology lab at the hospital to have my pre-surgery blood tests. It took no time at all. We could've slept in another 30 to 45 mins :(.

We came home and put the car seat in the Corolla w/o killing each other. I'm chronically cranky since yesterday and poor Ethan is bearing the brunt of it. I have to keep assuring him that it's not personal, I'm just really, really uncomfortable. The seat had been lovingly installed in our other car by my good friend Bilynda, but said car decided to crap out last week.

Our fridge crapped out the day before Thanksgiving, so we're sitting here now waiting for the new one to be delivered. We were given a delivery window of 10:45 am to 12:45 pm. It's 12:33 pm now. WTF? I have my final OB appt at 3pm today. MFer had better be here by 2pm. I'm far too cranky to refrain from physical violence. I have this vision of Ethan holding me back while I yank out my earrings and scream and spit in the terrified Sears delivery guy's face.

If he's any later than 2pm, I'll need to drive myself to the appointment so Ethan can stay behind. I'm not thrilled about that. My stomach is now so tight against the wheel that Tobin could steer if he were so inclined.

We still have a few errands to run, but I'm looking forward to relaxing on our last night as a twosome. I'm not supposed to eat after midnight despite my surgery only being scheduled for 4pm tomorrow, so I'll be enjoying a sizable "last meal" tonight. Haven't decided what it will be, but it will be large and carb-laden and delicious, dammit.

Off to shower and then rest before my doc appointment. Ethan can wrangle the delivery guy. BTW, it's now 12:51 pm and no word from Sears. Nice. I just called and they're running behind. Looks like I'll be driving myself after all. If my OB checks my chooch and decides to admit me STAT, Ethan will have to take a cab to the doc's office to pick up both myself and the car. FUN!
I'll just keep my fingers and legs crossed that that doesn't happen...

Gravid

That's how I feel today--like a pregnant sea turtle. The ultrasound has it all wrong. There's no baby in there, just hundreds of wet, leathery eggs. I'm fighting the urge to drive down to Sandy Hook right now and dig a nice, big egg cavity in the sand with my hind flippers.

OK, so I'm being melodramatic again...It's definitely a baby. We saw him again today. The ultrasound technician tried her darnedest to get us some good face pictures, but he had his dukes up as usual. It's even tighter in there now than last week, so the face is even smushier.

In this first picture, he just looks like a face in the clouds.

In this next one, he looks exactly like Daddy when he's sitting on the couch, stuffing his face with pretzels and watching the Giants. That's his hand up by his yap.

I was ready to declare him the indisputable spitting image of his Dad until the tech took this next picture. She had been shaking him with the wand for a good minute or two trying to get him to put his hands down, but he flat out refused to do so. Instead, he favored us with this dead on impersonation of Mom's pissed off face. Note the furrowed brow and pouty bottom lip.

Man, is this kid gonna be trouble...

Picture of us at reunion...

Ethan only found this on another classmate's Facebook page after I had gone to bed for the night. Check the gratuitous preggo cleavage. I swear I had no idea...

I'm Still Standin'

It's 1:25 am Sunday, November 30, 2008 and still no signs of imminent labor. Ethan and I just got back from his TWENTIETH HIGH SCHOOL REUNION (sorry, had to do that one more time ;-)). We had a great time and I was thrilled to have one final social outing before the baby emerges. There were two nurses in attendance--one even a Labor and Delivery nurse--so I was covered in the event of an early delivery.

I felt remarkably well today after feeling totally miserable yesterday--so well that I managed to hang in until the bitter end cuz I'm hardcore like that. All the women with children at the reunion assured me that this probably means I'll be going into labor over the next 48 hours. They all had similar stories to back this up. I'll keep you posted.

Now that I'm home and in my flannel jammies, however, I'm totally pooped. I'll be taking it nice and easy tomorrow. But before I log off to enjoy some much needed rest, allow me to share 2 totally bitchin' pics of Ethan from his high school days.

It's not as obvious in these pics, but from several I've seen while visiting his dad in Florida, Ethan was basically Duckie in high school . I always dreamed of marrying Duckie someday (or Lloyd Dobler--whichever one I found first). I never did understand why Andie picked Blaine. Stupid bitch...And I'm glad I found my Duckie first. Lloyd's cool and all, but Duckie has way more panache.

The Original Duckie



My Duckie looking 12 at most

Cross Country Sexpot

Turkey Day 2008

Tobin did his mommy a solid by staying put. I hope he's enjoying his first Thanksgiving dinner and turkey coma as much as I did just a few hours ago. Dinner was fantastic. Was it as good as mine? Of course not, but darn close--and far less work.

We had a great time talking about how our families celebrated Thanksgiving when we were kids and how we see ourselves celebrating once Tobe's old enough to join us at the table. This brought up another topic (and reminded me once again of how much I love my husband). Ethan made it very clear that family dinners at the actual dinner table were very important in his house (as they were in mine) and that it's a tradition he'd like to continue. I reassured him that as soon as Tobe starts solids, every dinner will be at the table because I really don't want him launching food all over the living room furniture and carpet.

I had promised Tobe he could make his way out anytime after I shoveled the last forkful of dessert into my mouth, but Dad wants him to chill out until Sunday so we can attend his TWENTIETH HIGH SCHOOL REUNION this Saturday night. I had to put that in all caps just to emphasize how old Ethan is. TWENTY YEARS!!!!! Luckily it's low key, so I don't have to get all gussied up. I really don't know how I'd go about gussying the bump at this point, anyway. Vinyl siding? Maybe I could get Christo to wrap it up like the Reichstag. My only request would be that he use the same pretty saffron color he did for the Gates project.

No signs of imminent labor to report. Saw the OB Wednesday and the ol' cervix is still closed, though very thin and soft. The countdown commences. In just under 7 days (or less), we shall be 3. Sur-fucking-real.

I hope everyone had a delicious, relaxing Thanksgiving. I'll try to post daily updates until D-day, but if I disappear for a few days without a trace, I'm sure you can figure out where I am and what I'm doing.

Finally Some Face Pics!

OK, so they're only partial, but still ADORABLE as far as Daddy and I are concerned.

Went to the perinatologist today for my weekly ultrasound. Tobe is A-OK. Good heart rate, doing his breathing exercises/hiccups, and weighing in at 6 lbs 6 oz. I figured he'd be up around 7 lbs already (big babies run in the family), but he's well within normal range. With gestational diabetes pregnancies, they worry about the baby being too big. Clearly not a problem here.

He's got his arm and/or hands mashed into his face in the pics below (I think you can make out fingers in the second). However, you can pick out his forehead, nose, left cheek, left eye and upper lip.

Have you ever seen such smushy-faced perfection??

We are so ridiculously ready for this kid. Ethan even practiced diapering and swaddling my teddy bear last night. He did a fantastic job. Tonight he even read a few chapters of one of my 1,000 parenting books, bless him.

I just might let him near the baby after all...

Speaking of babies, here's my furry son, Fred, with the "baby" I made him.
When he's not snuggling it, he's biting its throat and shaking it violently.
I've stopped calling it "Baby" for obvious reasons...

The Maids are coming again tomorrow. Will be fab to have a clean house for Turkey Day. The place is actually in pretty decent shape since the last time they were here 2 weeks ago. I hope they appreciate it.

The Oldsmobile is being cranky. The battery is clearly not dead and yet the engine won't turn over. Therefore Ethan has to take the Toyota to work tomorrow while I call the mechanic to tow it and have a look. Hopefully it's something simple and not too expensive. If it's expensive, we'll probably just junk it.

This means I'm without a car tomorrow, so I get to hang around while other women clean my house. That's kind of awkward. At least they won't be here nearly as long as last time.

Looking forward to a relaxing 4-day holiday weekend with my sweetie.

Full

As I mentioned, I'm 37 weeks today. I'm full term and full o' baby. Note the "Can you believe this shit?" expression I'm sporting. The bump cannot possibly get any larger than this without the skin on my stomach bursting down the center like the skin on a baked potato.

Just saying that made me want a baked potato right now. It's 2:19 am. That's ridiculous. I am never not hungry, but even I realize that that's a bit much--unlike my 1st trimester when I'd be passed out by 10:00 pm and waking up just about now to cook myself some eggs and toast. Now I want eggs and toast. No more food references.

Behold my awe-inspiring girth!!! I swear my arms weren't that fat yesterday. That had better be all milk-making fat, dammit.

First Nursery Pics!

Andy and Ethan did such a great job putting the crib together that I couldn't wait to wash the bedding to take pics. I'll just strip it all off tomorrow and have Ethan drop it off at the laundromat (no way the comforter and bumper will fit in our washer, so they may as well wash the lot).

It's really coming together. Still a good amount of crap to clear out, but hopefully we'll have that all gone by the time Mr. T enters his wild kingdom for the first time.

Andy, Aidan and Ethan in front of the finished masterpiece.
Aidan supervised.

My favorite piece of artwork. I still want to find a sign that says
"Welcome To The Jungle" for the door, but haven't managed yet.

Some of the other artwork. There are 2 more pieces like this
placed around the room. They match the crib bedding.

Window valance, rocking chair, and a glimpse of the crap to be cleared out.

And VOILA!!! The crib! There's an area rug to match the accent rug under the crib. The pic doesn't do it justice. It's super soft and shaggy. Sometimes I pop into the nursery just to dig my toes into it.

I'm Officially Over Being Pregnant Now (Slightly Graphic)

I will be 37 weeks on Friday. For the last 2 days I've noticed a marked increase in Braxton Hicks contractions. Today my OB said that my cervix is still closed, but softening up. Every step I take, it feels like the baby is going to fall out. Every time I go to the bathroom, I check the toilet for my mucus plug.

Tobe spends his entire day napping between bouts of pummeling my cervix with both fists. I saw him on the ultrasound Monday. Not once did he move his hands from in front of his face. He looked every bit the boxer he is. "Keep those hands up!"

He really hates the Braxton Hicks contractions. As if it's not cramped enough in there already, now he's being squeezed several times a day. He follows each BH with a brutal round of punching, kicking and stretching. He loves to brace his feet against the back of my uterus and shove his bony butt out as far as he can. I smack it (gently of course) when he does that.

I'm soooo very ready for him to come out. I look forward to enjoying his presence in prescription painkiller-induced bliss.

The nursery is coming together. Got the carpets down, the curtains and some decorations up and most of the extraneous crap cleared out. Our friends Abi and Andy are coming over Friday night to help put the crib together. I believe Andy, in addition to being a theater prof, is also a master carpenter, if I'm not mistaken. When I took one look at the crib instructions, I knew immediately that Ethan and I would probably kill each other if we tried to do it ourselves.

I figure he and Andy will work together much better and with far less frustration than he and I would. Not that he and I aren't a great team. It's just that two people trying to do something neither is good at is a recipe for cursing and/or tears--especially when one is exhausted and cranky from being 9 mos preggo and cries at the drop of a hat.

Once the crib is up and I've put the mattress and bedding in, I'll snap some pics to post here. The bedding, decorations and carpet go fantastically with the pale yellow walls. It looks very cheery and sunny.

The walls were that color when we moved in, so we didn't even have to paint. However, the walls are plaster, so it makes hanging pictures and such difficult. Luckily, there were already 5 nails in the wall perfectly placed for 5 of the decorations that required hanging. The rest can go up with fun-tac.

I'm off to order groceries online now. I'm also over waddling up and down the aisles until this kid comes out.

Crap on a stick!

It is exactly 3 weeks (less 6 hours and 45 mins) until Tobin's scheduled appearance. Great googly moogly. I'm terrified. Not of the surgery, I've had that before. Not of him finally being here and the awesome responsibility that entails, I've been ready for that for years, and I will treasure every sleep-deprived, hair-tearing, sore-boob moment of it.

I'm terrified of the those first few minutes between them pulling him out and telling me he's absolutely fine once they've suctioned all the goop out of him and given him his APGARs. I really need him to be OK from the get go. I know c-section babies sometimes need a little breathing assistance at the start, but I want him to come out wailing and red-faced and furious and I want them to wrap him up like a little sausage and hand him to his daddy so I can dote on him for a few minutes before he gets whisked off to the nursery and I get wheeled to recovery. I'm not sure if I can handle things going any other way, and I hope and pray it's a non-issue.

Then, when they bring him to me to nurse for the first time, and I've accepted the fact that he really is here and really is OK, I'll quietly scold him for the 9 months of worry and panic he put me through, not to mention the daily beatings.

Tuesday Blather

Just a quick post tonight...

Saw my regular OB today. She says everything's still locked up, but the baby is "way down there." This was evidenced by the fact that she was feeling the top of his head through my cervix rather than just inside my pelvic bone like last time. TMI, I know. I just wanted to put that out there since it's the full moon tomorrow.

I think I'll not only make it through that, but perhaps through Thanksgiving as well. I picked up Whole Foods' holiday menu today. Fantastic pre-cooked full course turkey dinner for less money than it would take me to buy all the separate ingredients and I don't have to cook it--just heat it in the oven. AMAZING. If my folks decide to come up, I'll order the meal for 8 so we'll have plenty of leftovers. If they don't, and it's just Ethan and I, I might order the dinner for 2 or still order the dinner for 8 so we don't have to cook for a whole week.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Thanksgiving and cooking Thanksgiving dinner. I just can't manage it this year for obvious reasons. I fear that the Whole Foods version will be so delicious that I will be tempted never to cook my yearly feast again.

I'm excited about our first holiday season as a family. Trying to keep myself from going overboard for Hanukkah. I want to decorate like crazy and take lots of pictures, but Tobe'll only be 2-3 weeks old and will most likely sleep through the whole thing. Also, I'll still be recovering from surgery. :( Next year, maybe.

Speaking of Hanukkah, Isaac Mizrahi has made whole line of Hanukkah-related doggie accessories. I bought Lulu and Fred a squeaky menorah and dreidel. They were only $4.99 ea. They love them. $10 well spent!

Random Tidbits

The Maids came and cleaned the house from top to bottom today. AWESOME! There must have been 2 years worth of dust trapped in various pockets in the house. I didn't do a white glove test, but they passed the white sock test. I've been walking around in stocking feet all day and the soles are still pristine.

Now we just have a good amount of clutter to purge. You should see what we've thrown out and freecycled already with help from our friend, Susannah. BIG Thanks, Suzie Q!!!! I have 2 weeks to work at that little by little until the cleaning crew comes again. I'm not kidding myself that we're going to get through all 4 closets in that time. I see that as an ongoing project for the next year. I just want to get the nursery together and clear up the remaining clutter in the nursery, bedroom and living room.

I must be honest, I felt slightly guilty about paying people to clean my house while I sat at Starbucks and addressed holiday cards. It's a treat for now while I'm too preggo or busy with baby to do it myself, but it is an added expense when we're trying to eliminate expenses.

Hopefully once the baby's here and settled in I can maintain things myself and just hire someone once or twice a year to do a giant spring cleaning so I don't have to move furniture and scrub baseboards, etc. As I've always said of myself, "For a socialist, I sure have a shitty work ethic."

On the other hand, it did feel kinda cool to pretend I was a rich corporate wife who runs errands and shops while other people do her less savory tasks. Nice to get a glimpse of how the other half lives once in a blue moon. It was a big job today, so I made sure to tip the crew double the suggested amount.

Lulu supervised them in my absence. She's an excellent foreman, hence her nickname "The Foreman." She spent the last few months watching construction crews and landscaping crews out the bay window all day long making sure they were working hard and not lallygagging.

Fred went around sniffing everything after the ladies left. He appeared confused as if to say, "This does not smell like my house." To his credit, I do not believe he's peed on anything to rectify that just yet.

So, things are coming together. My house is actually clean enough that people could drop in unannounced, which is usually my biggest fear. We cleared out a lot of junk in the nursery and put down the area rug. Just need to put the crib together, hang the curtains and decorations.

In politics, Keith Olbermann gave a fantastically touching special comment last night regarding the anti-gay marriage bills which passed in several states last week. You can check it out here. Perfect example of why this man is on my "list." That, and his impeccable grooming. Guys should always wear ties. No exceptions.

Speaking of my "list," can I just say that "Renegade" is the SEXIEST Secret Service nickname of ALL TIME???