Tzedakah

So High Holidays are here again. As Ethan and I have still not managed to pick a new synagogue in Morris County, we'll be spending them at home rather than temple. Still, the holidays always put me in a reflective mood.

We have a piggy bank that we drop all our spare change into. Normally, I wait till it's full, take it to the Stop N' Shop, dump it in the Coinstar and just put my little cash voucher toward the grocery bill. I've decided that it was time to turn the piggy bank into a--rather ironic--tzedakah box (charity box for you gentiles).

Traditionally, Jews put money in their tzedakah box each shabbat to be contributed to a charity of their choice once the box is full. As I said, we just empty our spare change into it any old day of the week. When full, that little oinker can hold up to $70.

Not a huge sum you might think, but for my current charity of choice, $70 saved = 7 lives saved. I'm sure you've all heard of Nothing But Nets. It's been all over the media lately. Each $10 donated purchases a mosquito bed net to prevent malaria deaths in Africa. In many cases, the bed covered by that net might sleep more than 1 person, so each donation of $10 may very well save 2 or more lives. How could you ask for a better return on investment than that?

I know times are tough in these United States financially speaking, but few us can't spare $10. Skip a movie. Skip a manicure. Skip 2 or 3 lattes. Make your own coffee instead and take it to work with you in a reusable travel mug. It's better for the environment, so you'd be doing two mitzvahs for the price of one.

Maybe you don't give a hoot about people dying of malaria in Africa. Pick another charity and do the same. I promise it will make you feel good. I like this particular charity simply because of the amazing return on investment for so little up-front capital. Did that sound republican of me? Eww.

Anyhoo, this is all part of my sudden need to actually embody and act on our Jewish values before the kid gets here so we can pretend we were doing it all along and not just for his benefit. I'd like him to think we've always been good Jews :).

And yes, I know several of my readers already make significant contributions to charities of their choice, so consider yourselves exempt. I just thought I'd give this particular charity a shout out because I thought it was such a simple and brilliant idea. I've put a link to the site on my left hand toolbar which will remain there for the foreseeable future. They have lovely html banners, but I couldn't seem to get them to work despite having no problems with the pregnancy ticker.

Thanks to any readers who decide to make a donation after reading this post. You're literally a lifesaver--and you didn't even have to talk someone off a ledge or pull anyone from burning wreckage, yet your actions are just as heroic as if you had.

New pics of Mr. T!!

We had our 29 week ultrasound at the perinatologist today. I can't believe how quickly this pregnancy has gone. The doctor assured us that everything is absolutely wonderful and commanded us to relax and enjoy ourselves for the duration. I can only promise that I'll do my best. It's difficult to process words you never thought you'd ever hear and to let go of 5 years worth of anxiety.

But enough heavy stuff--Look at my fetus, everybody!!!!!! Oops. I mean our fetus. Sorry, babe. Credit where credit is due and all...

This is a 3D/4D pic of his itty bitty face. The consensus so far is that he has:

• Ethan's brow line & chin


• My nose, lips and possibly cheeks
  
  

And this is a full-body profile. Look at the noggin on this kid! He's a whopping 3 lbs. 1 oz. already--which is appropriate for his gestational age, but I was expecting them to say closer to 2.5 lbs. His thigh bones constantly measure up to 2 weeks ahead. I don't who he gets the long legs from, but it ain't me or Dad!

Some levity for a change...

Found this via babycenter.com. Click here to find out what your name would be if Sarah Palin were your mother.

Mine: Thump Hummer Palin.

Ethan's: Rock Crane Palin.

Mr. T's: Mounty Bat Palin.

And, sorry to ruin the fun for you, Kayly, but yours is best of all:

Stepper Choke Palin!

Oh, and a shout out to Romania! I'm so glad you "vant to read my blaaaaaaaaaaaaaahg." Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Can the McCain/Palin campaign get any shadier?

It appears as though the McCain campaign sent in operatives to hinder the Troopergate investigation. Palin repeatedly claims she has nothing to hide, so why not let the investigation proceed and be done with it?

If she truly has nothing to hide and allows authorities to complete the investigation, the matter could be wrapped up well before election day. A finding in her favor would render the investigation a non-issue.

This on the heels of McCain's pathetic publicity stunt re: suspending his campaign and returning to DC to single-handedly solve the financial crisis REEKS of desperation. Did anyone buy that for a single second? How could a candidate who's widely considered to be weak on economic issues be so crucial in orchestrating the bailout? What could he possibly have to contribute? That's a rhetorical question, btw.

I shall enjoy watching the campaign continue to implode over the remaining weeks until election day. With great glee. So, so much glee.

Ooh--update since I originally posted this! Looks like Johnny Boy is going to show up for the debate after all despite the bailout package not being finalized. Nice to know he's a man of his word and stands by his decisions regardless of public opinion. Fucking asshole. I hope the public backlash from this latest publicity stunt throws him off his game tonight.

I Feel The Love

It's nice to know so many people out there are as interested in the Caylee Anthony case as I am. It really is one of the most fascinating cases in recent memory. I don't think I've been this engrossed in a case's outcome since Laci Peterson or Chandra Levy.

I've gotten 38 hits in the past 3 hours from people searching for updates on the case. That's amazing. I got a slew of hits earlier on today, too.

One visitor from Fletcher, NC happened upon my blog by searching "Casey Anthony is a piece of shit." That cracked me up! Thanks for the laugh. Hope you come back soon.

Casey Anthony's "Hot Body Contest" and other lapses in judgment...

Once again I say that the media is not villainizing Casey Anthony, they're simply reporting the facts. The statements in this video were taken from actual court documents. You can judge for yourself how appropriate her statements and actions were in the days following Caylee's disappearance.

I still haven't figured out how to embed videos from CNN directly into my posts. Any advice?

Oh, and howdy to Ireland and Jamaica--Dublin and Kingston, no less!! Y'all come back, now.

Fluff piece (feel free to skip if you're not a Project Runway fan)

OK, first off, let me say, "Kayly, don't read this if you haven't watched the episode yet. Click away! Click away!" I almost always spoil the outcome for her because she never watches the episode before I'm calling or emailing her to yak about it. She always stops me just in the nick of time, however.

Now for the official post:

Allow me to take off my political hat for a moment and put on my girlie, PR-addicted fashion "chapeau."

OMG! How did Kenley not get voted off this week? I know Suede has sucked for several weeks in a row now, and I started off hoping he'd get voted off this episode. I'm so tired of him speaking about himself in the 3rd person.

But Kenley blew CHUNKS this week! And her attitude has been growing exponentially over the past few weeks. She's even more of a one-trick pony than the gay Mormon who was voted off a few weeks ago. How she can stand on the runway and roll her eyes and give that annoying fricking "whatever" laugh she does when actual fashion professionals are trying to give her constructive criticism galls me. Especially Tim! What kind of idiot or evil twat must one be to sass Tim Gunn? He's America's beloved gay uncle. To borrow one of Michael Kors' comments from previous episode, that crotch on the high-waisted jeans she made was "every woman's nightmare. "

I loathe her. She's a cocky, mouth-breathing c-word. Ethan, of course, loves her. He thinks her 40s/50s pinup look is "hot." I don't disagree, I just like it better on someone who vaguely resembles a likable human being. I so hope she gets auf'd next week. Not that I particularly like any of the remaining designers. None of them can hold a candle to my beloved Jeffery :).

Whew! Glad I got that out of my system. Sorry for the meaningless, bubble-headed, pop cultural rant, but the delicious vapidness of PR is welcome distraction from the current economic crisis which has imbued me with the paralyzing fear that I will shortly find myself going into premature labor while waiting on the bread line.

And did you see the preview for next week's episode? Almost all of the remaining contestants are reduced to tears on the runway. Man, that's good shit. To quote one of my favorite films of all time, "Cook us up a shot, Rents."

Holy shit. I just agreed with Ari Fleischer.

Ari Fleischer is a pariah, as far as Ethan and I are concerned. He is the #1 Self-Hating Jew (what we call all republican Jews) in America. Joe Lieberman would be #2 (I know, he's technically an "independent," but if it quacks like a duck...).

However, as Ari spoke with David Gregory a few minutes ago on MSNBC, I found myself seconding his suggestion regarding Friday's debate. He made the point that with the country so up in arms over the financial crisis, a debate on foreign policy would get lost in the shuffle. Rather than postponing the debate, he suggested that they switch topics since a debate on the economy would be far more relevant.

I couldn't agree more. It has the added bonus of forcing both candidates to step up to the plate with less preparation. Perhaps they'll shoot from the hip rather than spout forth countless canned answers and catch phrases. I know this might not be the ideal situation for Obama, but as he's more informed and in touch with the average American (those making less than $5M/yr) regarding the economy than McCain, I think he'd do just fine.

I suppose we'll see what happens a little over 48 hours from now...

Update on Caylee Anthony Case

Protesters put the pressure on Caylee's family

This article presents me with a moral dilemma. I don't think private citizens should be harassed in their own homes, even if they are suspected of committing a crime or acting as an accessory after the fact.

On the other hand, this case stinks to high heaven. The mother, Casey Anthony, has been uncooperative from the start, not reporting Caylee missing for an entire month and fabricating things out of whole cloth (the non-existent babysitter and co-workers for example). The grandmother, who earlier referred to her daughter as a "sociopath" and told police that the trunk of Casey's car smelled like it had a dead person in it, now suddenly believes she's innocent.

If I'm honest with myself, I kinda love the protesters. I think most folks following this case are outraged at Casey's refusal to cooperate with police. Who wouldn't be? What mother who wasn't involved in her daughter's death or disappearance would intentionally withhold information and lie to the police? The media isn't villainizing Casey Anthony. She simply is a villain.

As such, I think the protesters serve a noble purpose by keeping the pressure on the Anthony family to disclose everything they know and by reminding them of their less-than favored status in the public opinion. This job would normally fall to the police or Feds, but they don't seem to be up to the task. If the coppers can crack hardened criminals and draw confessions out of them, why the hell can't they get the job done with a 22 y/o single mom? She should be a piece of cake!

Apparently Dr. Phil disagrees with me on this topic, but he's just a fat media whore and I couldn't give a shit what he thinks.

Rub a dub dub, no more tub

After another exhausting trip to the grocery store earlier this evening, I decided to soak all my aching bits in a nice warm tub. My devoted, loving husband brought me an icy cold drink. All was bliss.

Until I decided to get out.

Apparently I am now so large that it is virtually impossible for me to get out of the tub. I had no trouble getting in, but when I attempted to twist my torso around so I could get on my knees and ease my way onto my feet, I was temporarily baffled. It seemed that no matter which way I tried to turn, there just wasn't enough room to maneuver. It was a bit like trying to get an oversized, naked, sudsy couch through a too-small doorway. I was afraid we'd have to call the paramedics or, God forbid, professional movers.

I sorted it out without having to call Ethan in to assist. Even when I did finally manage to get to my knees, I found that my stomach is now so large and heavy that I could barely hoist myself up to my feet. I think I grew a ridiculous amount overnight. My navel is really, really shallow now. It might just pop after all.

Giving up my tub soaks makes me sad. I really enjoyed them. I'll just have to stick with my trusty heating pad and buy a basin to soak my feet and ankles in, I guess. I wish you could see my pout right now. It's very pouty.

Not to toot my own horn, but...

Two separate individuals (from Rome and Knoxville, TN) arrived at my humble little blog entry re: George Michael via cnn.com!!

I was momentarily baffled until I revisited the article and saw that CNN has a little window underneath their articles with links to blogs discussing that particular topic (I never scroll down that far). Mine isn't listed as of this morning, but I imagine it must have been earlier. Man, wish I'd seen it!

A third person arrived via my blog being cited on this blog. I am aware that Georgie Pie was most likely up to more than just scoring dope, I just meant that the "official" charges for this incident were drug-related rather than sex-related. It was a refreshing change that he was caught this time with junk in his pants, rather than with his own junk out of them.

So, does this oh-so brief moment in the limelight make me a legitimate "journalist?"

No reply necessary--I already know the answer.

Oh George, Won't You Ever Learn?

George Michael was arrested in a public toilet AGAIN. This time for drugs. This makes me sad. I know his career isn't exactly booming, but he is still George Michael. Doesn't he have "people" who can bring him drugs? Sleazy friends and hangers on and whatnot? Has he really been reduced to scoring on the streets like Tatum O'Neal?

Why can't he be a quiet, stand-up citizen like Andrew Ridgley, who has single-handedly eliminated E. coli in the UK?

Update on Kim Jong-Il's Stroke

Though his status remains uncomfirmed, we now know the cause:

Kim Jong-Il: 'McCain Chose WHO?'

I'm not sure how I didn't hear about the stroke until today's NY Times, but there ya go...

Squeeze With My Squeeze

So Ethan and I, though both tired and suffering from allergy attacks, made our way into the city for last night's Squeeze Concert at Radio City Music Hall. There was the mandatory 20 minute backup at the Lincoln Tunnel, but we managed to arrive only a few minutes late.

James were already on stage when we arrived. I'd forgotten how much I like them (my ex got our entire James collection in the split-up). The lead singer's voice is as angelic as ever. He must gargle unicorn's blood before taking the stage.

Squeeze were fantastic as well. They don't muck about. They went from one song right into the next with very little banter in between. The crowd was an odd mix. I think we expected to see mostly folks our own age there, but there were a handful of younger types and a LOT of 50-somethings. I suppose this makes sense, as the band's first album came out approx. 30 years ago. It was a very mellow scene, with most folks bopping in their seats rather than standing. I normally like things a little livelier and louder, but it was the perfect concert for someone in my condition.

Mr. T spent the whole concert rolling around and thumping. Not sure if he was gettin' down with his bad self or if he was trying to sleep and was complaining about the noise (the fetal equivalent of banging on the ceiling with a broomstick).

The drive home was the only bit that sucked. They're doing construction on the NJ Turnpike southbound and thought it would be a wonderful idea to block off every possible exit onto said toll road save one. We drove around in circles for a good 30 mins trying to find the magic exit. Eventually we triumphed, or we'd still be making circles up and down Route 3. Still, I'm glad we took advantage of what will probably be our last chance to see a concert before the little man arrives and Ethan had a great time which was most important, seeing as the tix were his bday prezzie.

Best new Feedjit tidbit: I had a visitor from Sao Paulo, Brazil who came across my blog via a 2005 post entitled "Fuck Spring" (It was a particularly bad spring for allergies) after searching "little+boy+fucked+mother" on google.br. I'd like to google that myself to see if my blog is what pops up first, but I'm afraid to search anything so lurid in case Big Brother is watching. Who am I kidding? Because Big Brother is watching (wave to Big Brother, kiddies!).

Speaking of dictatorships, it appears as though Kim Jong-Il has had a stroke. Several different reports from inside North Korea give varying accounts re: his status. Hopefully he's fully and permanently incapacitated. It's the least he deserves for how he's treated his own people.

South Korea is concerned that North Koreans will take advantage of the ensuing chaos to flood over the border. Let them!! And have dinner waiting for them when they get there and count your blessings they don't eat you upon arrival--they're starving!!*

Disclaimer: I am in no way insinuating that North Koreans have a tendency toward cannibalism, only that they're very hungry and not a little desperate, so you (South Koreans) should be very, very nice to them.

Thanks Kayly!

For introducing me to how much fun the Feedjit widget can be.

I racked up 3 more countries in the last day: New Zealand, Portugal and Canada.

How these two arrived at my blog strikes me as particularly amusing:


Brampton, Ontario arrived from google.ca on "Nothing Personal: My Brilliant Plan to Stimulate our Failing Economy..." by searching for how to stimulate my husband.
13:58:15 -- 57 minutes ago (Boy--she must have been disappointed)

Murfreesboro, Tennessee arrived from google.com on "Nothing Personal: Satan Lives in John McCain's Neck Folds" by searching for john mccain's neck. 12:55:22 -- 2 hours ago (This person clearly shares my love of random search topics)

Two New TV Shows I LOVE...

#1 True Blood (HBO Sundays @ 9PM ET)

I haven't read the books the show is based on, but so far I ADORE this show. Anna Paquin is adorable and saucy as Sookie Stackhouse. Stephen Moyer as the southern gentleman/vampire Bill Compton is atomically hot and oh so smouldery. The supporting cast is just as rich and colorful. The dialogue is bang on. I can't say enough about it.

I've heard rumors that it isn't rocking the ratings quite like HBO had hoped. PLEASE tune in and give it a shot. I beg you. It's too fantastic to be cancelled prematurely. And it would break my widdle, pwegnant heart. Oh! Wait a minute! My deliciously handsome husband just came home and informed me that it's already been picked up for a second season. JOY!!!!!!!!!!

...sigh...

#2 Fringe (FOX Tuesdays @ 9PM ET)

I wasn't sure how I'd take to this show. Having been a die hard X Files fan, I was afraid it might be a tired rehash. And having been a die hard Lost fan until last season, I was afraid it would be as aimless and wandering as Lost became (It might have gotten its shit together, but I lost patience).

The first two episodes have been wonderfully entertaining. So far it seems to combine all the best bits of Lost and X Files. Wacky story lines, kooky characters (Dr. Bishop is HYSTERICAL!), and a large, overhanging conspiracy that ties all the individual episodes together (which, unlike Lost episodes, have an actual sense of closure!). Please give this one a chance, too. I'd hate to see it relegated to Friday or Saturday nights before it disappears into the ether. From what I understand, it's been receiving great ratings, so this will hopefully not be an issue.

My Brilliant Plan to Stimulate our Failing Economy...

It's very simple, and will cost the taxpayers zip, nada, zilch.

1. Charge Sarah Palin $1 every time she drops her Gs. It's not cute. It's not folksy. It makes her sound like an uneducated hick. I'm really looking forward to ridding the White House of those this election.

2. Charge her $5 every time she repeats that BS line about the Bridge to Nowhere.

3. Charge her and McCain $1 every time they mention the phrase "real change."

4. Charge anyone, anywhere $1 any time they refer to Todd Palin as "The First Dude."

5. Charge McCain $1 every time he loses track of what he's saying mid-sentence. This man shouldn't be president of anything other than the United States of Dementia.

I think that should take care of it. If I think of more, I'll add them later. Who knows, maybe my plan will generate enough cash to restore the budget surplus we were enjoying before the republicans seized office in 2000.

Satan Lives in John McCain's Neck Folds

I swear. I've seen him leering out through the curtains of crepe-like flesh hanging from McCain's chin. Be afraid, America...

Blessed Relief

For the first time this summer it was cool enough to turn the air conditioner off. I opened up all the windows,turned the fan on high, and aired out the apartment. I've been praying for autumn's early arrival these last few weeks as I near the beginning of my third trimester (which is this Friday! Woot woot!!). As this is the most exhausting and uncomfortable trimester, I'm glad the bulk of it will take place during cooler weather.

Some men were doing construction in front of our house and had blocked off the driveway with a 4 foot mound of dirt. We had been warned about this, but I had completely forgotten. As such, I neglected to pull the car out of the driveway last night and park it on the street. As I had my final dentist appointment at 2:00 pm today, this meant I had to hoof it down to Main St. rather than drive myself in the air-conditioned comfort to which I am most accustomed. Had it been in the mid-80s like earlier this week, this would've sucked ass. It turned out to be a very pleasant walk (interrupted by a very unpleasant torture session at the dentist).

When I had finished schlepping my big butt and even larger gut up the (never ending) hill to our house and finally up the stairs to the apartment, I found that I was only slightly damp and breathing normally. Any other day I'd have been dripping with sweat and gasping for air. This made me feel frickin' awesome! Not like the giant, plodding land mammal I normally feel like.

On the way up the hill, I met an adorable little bichon frise named Zoe with a less-than-warm mommy. She barely tolerated me stopping to pet her dog. I normally don't pet dogs whose owners give off the "don't pet my dog" vibe, but this dog was begging me to pet her--standing on her hind legs and giving me that two-paw wave that only bichons seem to give. So I stopped to pet her. And she loved it. And I secretly wished I could steal her and take her home where she would be adored and not treated like a status symbol or accessory.

Although I do live in a town brimming with rich people--most of whom are republicans--I'm happy to say that the majority aren't like Zoe's mom. Please keep in mind, my definition of "rich people" are people who make over $250K, not $5M as McCain would have it. They're warm and friendly. They say "Hi!" when you pass them on the sidewalk and stop to pet Fred and Lulu when we walk them. I wonder sometimes if this is because they assume we're one of them. Though not rich by any means, I guess we do technically qualify as "Yuppies"--even now that we're down to one income (note: Ethan HATES when I point this out), but I'd like to think they're just genuinely nice people.

I'm also happy to report the surprising number of Obama yard signs and bumper stickers that have popped up all over town over the past 6 months. New Jersey is a solidly blue state, but Madison in a very red town. Or it was--it's as purple as a savagely twisted nurple now!! We even have an Obama sign in our front yard now--and we didn't put it there! Our downstairs neighbor did. It's like we have our own liberal enclave in the heart of Republicana. I'm surprised we haven't been egged by privileged, A&F-draped teenagers "raisin' McCain!"

When Turdblossom Thinks You've Gone Too Far...

You've gone waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far.

Rove: Some McCain ads don't pass '100 percent truth' test