I have had very little of interest to say of late. I consider this a good thing. It means I'm too busily immersed in my everyday pursuits to ruminate and pontificate. Still, I do love this little blog of mine and can't help but feel like a deadbeat mom when I neglect it for any amount of time.
I have decided a few things since my last post. The first being that 2011 is going to be my "happy year." After 6 years of trying to build/raise a family, losing a parent, and lovingly supporting a husband who is showing all the classic signs of a midlife crisis, I'm going to...(gasp)...focus on myself for a year. Actually take some time to think about who I am and what makes me happy. Carve out time for my hobbies, try to find a job that means something to me, and set aside time for contemplation and introspection. I deserve it, dammit. And I desperately need it.
Secondly, I'll be using this blog as a dream journal as well as a place for my insipid ramblings. Feel free to skip the dream posts if it's not your cuppa. It's just a tool for me to remember the contents of my wacky dreams until my next therapy appointment. That said, I won't necessarily blog them all. A) That would be a giant bore, and B) Some may involve others who may not wish to have my subconscious impressions of them made public. I'll stick to posting the interesting/funny/odd ones, or the ones that I find especially revealing/analytical/therapeutic.
Case in point: Last night's dream. The bathroom sink was clogged. REALLY clogged. I poured a mixture of vinegar and baking soda down the drain to clear it all out. Within seconds the drain began to expel softball-sized, wet, slimy clumps of my hair. I pulled them out and threw them in the trash. They just kept coming. At one point, I was pulling out this thick rope of goopy hair clog like hankies from a magician's sleeve, hand over hand. I was amazed and gobsmacked. After I pulled the last of the hair out, other objects followed (I don't recall any except a wash cloth). Eventually the last item was removed and the drain was clear. I ran some water and it made a super-satisfying gurgle as it whooshed down the drain. I felt very relieved and at peace.
This dream could mean anything. The kitchen sink was clogged the other day and Tobin was playing in the bathroom sink yesterday. I'm worried about my thinning hair, etc. What it felt like it was saying to me is that I've reached the light at the end of the (disgusting, clogged) tunnel. I've done the work. I've tugged the last of the glop from my psychological drain and everything is in working order again. It feels good. Really good. So good I'm down to 2.5mg of Lexapro a day (was taking 20mg just a few months ago) and on track to wean off in another 3 weeks.
So the pipes are clear. Time to channel something meaningful and positive through them. Thus my 2011 proclamation. Wish me luck, happiness and fulfillment--I'll wish the same for you.
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3 comments:
No comment for this other than that I wish Blogger had a "like" button.
:-)
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