Pee Pee Stick Says "No"

That's the fourth time in a row. I'm still not despondent, but a little disappointed. We tried extra hard this time, if you catch my drift.

I even rubbed this Jamaican fertility idol that one of my coworkers brought in for another woman who's ttc. According to the coworker, the idol belongs to her mother and her mother swears that every woman who touches it becomes pregnant shortly thereafter. My coworker had to bring it into the office wrapped in towels for fear she might come in contact with it--she has no plans of making babies for a while. Maybe it will work its charms in the next cycle or two.

I wouldn't have been so disappointed, but the morning of the test I was snoozing while Ethan showered and I dreamt that it was positive. I dreamt that I took the test in the restroom of the Lebanon Valley Mall (Ethan and I were there with my folks this past weekend). I was so happy that I burst out of the ladies room and skipped the whole length of the mall waving my pee stick (with TWO pink lines, mind you) over my head and shouting to everyone within earshot that I was pregnant.

I was sure the dream was precognitive, but I soon learned otherwise. :( I know from being pregnant with Sam that when it's positive, that second line begins to appear either at the same time as the first or very shortly thereafter. After 1 1/2 minutes if there's only one dark pink line I've already tossed the stick in the trashcan. I always dig it out again after the 3 minute mark just to be absolutely sure, but I haven't been proven wrong yet.

I had been taking a daily multivitamin with a folic acid supplement for the first few months. I switched to prenatals from GNC, but they're 2 pills a day as well and I think they might make me nauseous when not taken with food. I'm going to schedule a preconception exam with my OB/GYN so I can get a prescription for the prenatals I was on before. I didn't have a problem with them, and they're only one pill a day. It's time to visit the girly doc for other reasons as well, so it's a good idea all around.

I'm also starting to worry that my job stress is affecting my fertility as well. The good news is that I shouldn't be nearly as busy by the end of this month, so hopefully that will no longer be an issue.

As disappointing as it is to find out I'm not pregnant for the 4th cycle in a row, the only thing to do is to get right back on the horse--or the nearest Jewish male. If you're reading this, Kayly, my next window starts just in time for your visit for the Mermaid Parade! I know you're jazzed about that!! We'll be extra quiet. Promise! :)

Nighty night. Must spend some QT with the cutie.

V