LU x 2

I've already got an hour's worth of chores under my belt and still have energy for more. Woo hoo! Please note that I'm posting this after 5:00 PM. This would be considered pathetic for a normal person, but I'm digging my way out of a collapsed Depression Mine. Also, the baby wore me out yesterday with his extended cervical onslaught.

On a more positive note, I think my mood is up even higher today than yesterday. Maybe I'll be able to cut back on the Zoloft after all. All in good time. If red wine weren't off limits, I could kick the Z in a heartbeat! Dr. Spock says a nursing mother can have up to 2 beers or glasses of wine a day without affecting the baby. You know what that means. As soon as I'm able to make it up and down the stairs after the C-section, Mommy and Aunt Kayly are taking a field trip to the Wine Library (which is a cruel misnomer--they don't actually lend you the wine for free).

I had a dream last night that a rather large part of the baby was poking a big round lump on my belly. I grabbed it and squeezed it trying to identify it until I realized it was probably the baby's head, and I really shouldn't be squeezing it that hard. But I gave it another squeeze and noticed a definite "cleft" in the middle and figured out that it was his butt, so I gave it a "Get back in there!!" shove.

I'm sure he was kicking the crap out of me in my sleep. He's quite the kicker/puncher. In MMA (mixed martial arts) Land we'd say he's got a "great stand-up game." From all the tumbling he does, he might just have an excellent ground game, too. Lord knows he almost made me tap out yesterday.

Laziness Update

I promised I would check in with you periodically to let you know how I'm doing on the laziness challenge. So far, so good! Granted, I've started off slowly, only doing about 1 hour's worth of chores a day.

Yesterday that hour was spent going to the grocery store. I forget what I did Monday, but I did at least an hour's worth of it. Today I've already put in about 20 mins tidying the living room. I've got another 10-15 mins to go and then I'm off to the bathroom. We're going out to dinner with a friend tonight, so those are the only 2 rooms she's likely to see. I'll leave the kitchen and dishes for tomorrow.

My energy level is actually approaching normal today, and my mood is certainly higher than it was last week. The only things I have working against me today, physically speaking, are my usual back pain and the kid riding heavy on and kicking the crap out of my cervix all day long. It isn't painful, just really uncomfortable. I have to sit down periodically to try to get him to move, which he absolutely refuses to do.

It feels like he's trying to escape. Someone needs to inform him that he needs to chill out for another 5 months before he can get outta Dodge. He stops kicking if I rock him in the rocking chair, but he refuses to relocate. I'm about to stand on my head or do cartwheels. This is my penance for complaining last night that he was pushing up on my stomach and giving me heartburn. He's a spiteful little shit.

I Like Weird Smells (It Puts The Lotion on Its Skin...)

My mom gave me 2 bottles of this wonderfully moisturizing lotion while we were visiting this past weekend. In the bottle it has almost no scent, but when I put it on my skin, it smells like plastic Band-Aids. The problem is my skin, not the lotion. It does odd things to fragrances. Some people might be put off by this olfactory transformation, but I found it to be a pleasant surprise. I love the smell of Band-Aids. Plastic ones especially, but the stretchy fabric ones are OK, too.

Since I put the lotion on right before bed, I lay awake for a good 20 minutes thinking about all the other weird smells I like. Feel free to chime in with any weird smells you happen to like. I'd be fascinated to hear.

These are not necessarily in order of preference...

1. Puppy Breath--my absolute favorite smell right after baby heads.

2. The way my dogs smell right after they come in from a walk on a sunny day. I don't know if it's the fresh air or the way the sun activates their oil glands, but they smell wonderful. I scoop them up and bury my nose in their fuzzy coats and tell them they smell like "sunshine." Wet dog smell is repugnant, however. I also love the way Ethan's hair smells when he comes in from the sun, so I'm guessing its an oil gland thing.

3. New shower curtain smell--Applies to vinyl shower curtains only.

4. The smell of those hard, pink parallelogram-shaped erasers you'd get in elementary school--especially when you'd just vigorously erased something and the rubber was still warm from the friction.

5. Crayons--Love that waxy smell. Oddly enough, when I put on patchouli oil (which I haven't done since college), my wacky skin makes it smell exactly like crayons.

6. Rubbing Alcohol and bleach--From a distance. I don't stick my nose right up to the bottle and inhale deeply. They just smell so "clean" to me. Like purity in a bottle.

7. Rain on hot asphalt. I don't know if this is a "weird" smell or not. I can understand how many folks might find it unpleasant, but I love it.

8. That earthwormy smell that hangs in the air after a long, hard rain when the ground is so drenched that all the worms have to come up to the surface. I spent many summer days as a kid rescuing worms that had crawled onto the asphalt to escape the deluge.

9. The smell left on your hands after you've held a caterpillar or caught and released a lightning bug (or firefly, depending on what neck of the woods you're from).

10. Rubber tires. Car or bicycle. Right now we have our bikes parked in the other bedroom which will be the nursery as soon as we get our shit together. Sometimes I just stick my head in their and inhale. I'll give the room a good airing out before Junior comes home.

If I think of others, I'll tack them on later.

Inertia is the Enemy

I finally opened up to my therapist today and admitted out loud that I am incredibly freaking lazy. I am--shamelessly so.

Until recently I've had various excuses to justify my laziness--depression after losing the twins, depression after being let go from work, depression and anxiety regarding the health of this baby, etc.

What I realized today is that I no longer have any valid excuse to sit on my butt all day. I have a wonderfully healthy baby in my stomach who deserves to have a fantabulous nursery and well-organized apartment to come home to as does my hard-working, sole bread-winner husband. I vowed to my therapist that I would start off slowly, setting 1-2 hours a day aside for housework and/or nursery decoration. He thought that was a stellar plan.

What's kept me from doing this until now? Glad you asked. The answer, my friend, is a complete and utter lack of accountability. I became lazy and disinterested simply because I had no deadlines or semi-yearly reviews. If the dishes don't get done, who's going to call me into his/her office to give me a tongue-lashing or fire me? Nobody. Hence this post. I'm putting my plan out there on the Internets so that you readers (all 2 of you) can hold me accountable to sticking to it. I will sum up my progress periodically. Feel free to give me the above mentioned tongue-lashing if I fail to comply.

In other news, Christian Bale has been put on probation from my boyfriend list until more details of his alleged assault on his mother and sister are made public. I'm hoping he didn't actually hit them or anything. Perhaps he just threw a drink on them. The latter would not result in permanent removal from my list as the bitches probably deserved it (KIDDING...JEEZ!!!!! Simmer down...). Gael Garcia Bernal and Johnny Depp remain in good standing.

Some interesting celeb quotes of the week:

At least she's honest: "You know how you do things, and you don't really know why you're doing them until the end? I don't know why I'm doing this yet. I'm (sic) just know I'm an exhibitionist." — Pamela Anderson, who has a new reality series.

Besides, the busier she stays, the less likely she is to "give it up" and get knocked up: "I probably won't tour again as a 'Hannah Montana' tour ... I'm kind of past that stuff. But I definitely wanna keep doing my show. I love doing (it) and I wouldn't wanna give it up quite yet." — Miley Cyrus.

Who the fuck needs you anyway???: "Just because I'm famous doesn't mean that I work for the audience. I'm not obligated to do anything. I'm an artist. I will do what I want to do. Whatever the consequences. ... I certainly hope that it's a civilized reaction." — Neil Young. SO THERE!!

Hiatus Interruptus

Nothing Personal is back--with a vengeance! I have no idea what I mean by that--it just sounded exciting.

If I've learned one invaluable life lesson since this blog was first created, it's that I need to accept that I have absolutely no control over my own life's path and to just kick back and enjoy where it takes me. So much wacky shit has happened over the past 5 years that I have ceased to imagine what the next 5 years might bring because I will invariably be wrong.

After 3 painful pregnancy losses, we decided to adopt. It's a long, arduous process, but we were committed to it--and to creating a family. I bought and read every book on adoption I could get my hands on. I started to forget what was so great about biological children anyway and could no longer even picture myself with a caucasian baby.

Then, in early May, I realized that it had been a while since I had my period (uh, like SEVEN WEEKS!!!). I bought some HPTs to prove to myself that there was nothing to worry about and chalked it up to adoption-related stress. The first stick turned positive in seconds. The next morning, the second stick turned positive before I finished peeing on it. We were speechless.

The next few months were filled with incessant, debilitating worry about the health of the baby. We finally got the all clear that the little man was A-OK this past week. Naturally, we're excited. I still found it odd to picture myself with a caucasian baby after months of assuming my son would be coming from Eastern or Central Asia. Then I saw his face. I'm completely and utterly in love. He is the single most adorable, beautiful, perfect thing I have ever laid eyes on--and he's only half-baked. See for yourself. He looks like Daddy :)

We made this gorgeous creature with our naughty bits! That's INSANE!!!!

As I said on Bishkek Bop, it looks likely that we may not receive a referral until I'm too far along to travel, so our adoption plans are temporarily on hold. We have a lot of things to think about between now and when the baby's born. Do we still want to adopt a boy, or switch to a girl now that we're expecting a boy? How far apart in age do we want them to be? And so forth...

I've been so wrapped up in the adoption and pregnancy whirlwinds that I haven't been paying nearly as much attention to current events and the everyday things I used to pontificate about on this blog. I promise to discuss more than my developing fetus in future posts.

Now I need to feed the wee beastie. He demands lunch.

V

Indefinite Hiatus

This blog is on indefinite hiatus while I chronicle our adoption journey to bring home our child from Vietnam on my new blog: http://sincofffamily.blogspot.com/

Please feel free to stop by!

Vacation, all I ever wanted....

I apologize up front for the super-obvious title, but I had no choice.

It's been about 2 mos. since my last posting. This should suggest to you just how interesting my life has been in the past 9 weeks or so. I've been doing nothing but working and preparing for the holidays the entire time.

Thankfully all that mishegas is finally at an end and I am on day 5 of my 10 day vacation. I have sworn to spend as much of this vacation as possible in my PJs and slippers. I even went across the street to the cafe in my PJs and winter coat to get lunch yesterday. When I make a promise to myself, I keep it. For the most part, I'm just reading, knitting, and watching TV. I sorely needed to check out for a week and I'm making the most of it.

This weekend will be busy. Friday night we have dinner with our friends Ernie and Eleanor, Saturday is New Year's Eve and New Year's Day I promised to make traditional PA Dutch pork and sauerkraut for at least 6 people, supposing they're all still coming and aren't so hungover that the mere smell of the pungent dish will prevent them from partaking.

We haven't solidified our New Year's Eve plans just yet. We had thought about going to the event at the wine bar around the corner from us, but I'm having second thoughts. NYE falls during a time of the month when I shouldn't be drinking in the event that we might be pregnant. I know many would say that no time of the month is a good time when trying to conceive, but let a girl have a glass or two of pinot on her period for Christ's sweet sake. It's the only thing that keeps her sane and her husband out of harm's way.

Besides, $30/person is a lot of money if you're not knocking back the hooch. That's the charge from 8-11pm ($30 for hors d'oeuvres and open bar) at 11 it converts to a cash bar. Not a bad deal if you get there early, but from 11 on there's a $10 cover charge. WTF is that?? Cover charge AND cash bar? There's a wonderful liquor store that's part of the wine bar. I think we should just go there earlier in the day, by a few bottles of wine and a bottle of champagne and hole up in the apartment with lots of good snacks.

I hate going out on NYE. It's never as fun as you think it's going to be. You either get too drunk or not drunk enough and then you have to schlep home from wherever you are praying the whole way that some drunk asshole doesn't plow into you. Cuz that's when it'll happen, you know. Not after a great NYE party, but a sucky one--so the last thought in your head before the last of your blood flows onto the pavement is, "Dude, I KNEW I should've stayed in tonight. FUCK!!"

So far I'm enjoying my vacation. For the first time in about two months my neck and shoulders are relaxed and that annoying crease down the middle of my forehead has softened and all but disappeared. This not-working gig is pretty sweet. I'm still working on convincing Ethan that I should be a stay at home mom (he's all for the idea in general, just not sure that we can swing it financially right now). Not that being an SAHM isn't tons of work, but that period just before the little one pops out where I just get to put my feet up and relax and be pregnant sounds too, too fab. Working pregnant sucks ass.

That's it. I have nothing else to say. It's been a slow newsweek and my brain is on vacation along with the rest of my body. I just wanted to check in to let everyone know I'm not dead, just boring.

Talk soon,
V

We Had an Interesting Week....

For a change. As mentioned in my previous post, we went to see Weezer and Foo Fighters last Friday. I dug the show a little more than the ball and chain, but I happen to have insane, schoolgirl crushes on both Rivers Cuomo and Dave Grohl, so that's to be expected.

Weezer put on a great show with the perfect mix of old and new stuff. We think Rivers might be sporting a little bald spot on the back of his head, but it could have been a glare. Foos rocked my ass off. They had a spectacular light show complete with video screens that we couldn't see from our seats at the side of the stage, but I imagine it was really cool. Those in view of it seemed to enjoy it.

I have yet to download the new Foo Fighters album. My friend Tom burned the new Weezer for me a while back. I gave it one listen and immediately dismissed it. At first listen it's a really pussy sounding album. Fortunately, the guys were on Howard Stern the other day and Rivers gave an amazing interview.

I always assumed he was a tortured artist/control freak/diva like Billy Corgan, but he's actually a really down to earth, humble, even shy guy. Apparently he's been celibate the last 2 1/2 years and plans to remain so until he finds the right girl to marry. I'm pretty sure he used the "m" word. I was transfixed. And immediately began racking my brain for single girlfriends I could fix him up with through whom I could live vicariously. I forwarded his picture to my friend Chantel, whom I think would be a PERFECT match for Rivers by the way, but she dismissed him as a "total dork." I was crestfallen. I told her that what she said was blasphemy and that Rivers is beautiful and perfect and that she is wholly unworthy of his geek godliness. She has no idea what a testament it is to her person that I would even consider her as a potential mate for Rivers. What an ingrate!!

Anyhoo, back to the point--after the interview I decided to give the album another listen and now I really like it. Apart from Beverly Hills and We Are All on Drugs, the rest of the album is either Rivers apologizing for being a jerk in his past life (part of his whole self-improvement kick) or love songs about how he fucked up past relationships or how he would like his future relationships to be. It's actually really touching. If I hadn't heard the interview, I would have dismissed many of the lyrics as trite and, as I said before, pussy, but now I realize that they're completely open, honest and earnest. Some of the choruses are pretty weak, but the songs are still good enough that that's easily forgiven.

Speaking of my fellow Weezer fan, Tom, he and his wife Jamie just had their second daughter, Gwen, yesterday. She's gorgeous, as is her big sister, Evie. Congratulations to the proud parents!

I found out the good news last night when we got home from Sukkot dinner at a co-worker's house. It was my first time dining in a sukka. I really enjoyed the experience. My co-worker's family is much more observant than we are, so it was nice to get a peek inside an observant Jewish home. It makes me realize what slackers we've been this past year. We need to get back to temple soon. We're bad Jews.

Looking forward to the weekend. Saturday night is my friend Jen's pirate-themed Halloween party. Ethan and I haven't gone shopping for costumes yet. Hopefully we'll find something not too lame, especially if my best friend Kayly decides to have her pirate-themed birthday party after all. Then we won't have to go shopping again. I'm sure pirate costumes are harder to come by in December than October.

On the girth tip, I have officially lost 9.8 lbs. so far. I've finally lost enough that one of my co-workers commented on it today. I rock. That's my daily affirmation. I'm not getting cocky just yet. I've lost the equivalent of two bags of potatoes. That just leaves.....a shitload of potatoes to go. Best not to think about it in those terms. Then again, I'm German-Irish. How else am I supposed to think about it? Beer, perhaps--in which case I've lost almost 10 pints of Guinness or Franziskaner Hefe Weizen. That's more than I can drink in one night, so you KNOW it's a lot! ;)

Nighty night,
V

This Sucks

It has been raining for six straight days. The weather has us so depressed that we did nothing with our day off today save sleep until 2pm and watch bad tv.

We were up briefly around 8am to move the car so as not to get ticketed and walk the dogs and found ourselves watching Sidekicks until the end. We couldn't tear ourselves away. Six days of shitty weather has stripped us of all our motivation, taste, and will to live, apparently. Mostly, I just felt really sad for Jonathan Brandis. Imagine Sidekicks being your crowning achievement. No wonder he cashed in early, the poor bastard.

If this weather doesn't break soon, I may lose my shit. Enough is enough. Ethan expressed it most eloquently when he said, "Where the fuck are we? Manchester??" I can't hack this much longer. A blizzard would be a welcome change. Even the dogs are depressed. Lulu spent most of the day on the couch on her back with her head lolling over the side. I had to poke her periodically just to make sure she was still alive. Fred just looks cranky, which is his normal expression, but he looks exceptionally cranky the last few days.

If it rains throughout this weekend I just do not know what I'll do. I have to get out. I'm the original homeboday and I have cabin fever. We're going to see Weezer and Foo Fighters tomorrow night, so that will be some welcome excitement. After that, I have no idea.

Looking forward to the last weekend of the month. November 1st is our 2nd wedding anniversary and Ethan booked us a weekend at Kate Pierson's Lazy Meadow Motel up in the Catskills. We have room no. 7--the duplex! I'm so jazzed. I put him in charge of planning something for our anniversary and he came up with the idea all on his own (or so he says, so keep it to yourself if you had any input!!)! Hopefully we'll have nice weather by then.

No other news right now apart from my ever-decreasing girth! Ethan and I went back on Weight Watchers 3 weeks ago and we've both lost about 7 lbs. so far. Go us! We're doing the "Core" plan, which is sort of like South Beach, but not as strict and it's pretty easy to stick to so far. I had issues with the "Points" plan. It was too hard to keep track and I was always hungry. Wish us luck! My immediate short term goal is to get down to the weight I was before I got pregnant the first time before I get pregnant again. That's another 16 lbs. Eek. I have no idea how I put on so much weight in 2 years. Actually, I know exactly how I did it, but it's still quite shocking.

Off to spend a little QT with the man before beddy-bye.

Talk to ya later...
V

Try to Catch the Deluge in a Paper Cup...

After weeks and weeks of a virtual drought (broken up by the odd five-minute downpour), it is now raining like a goddamn motherfucker in Jersey City. It started before I woke and continues now. It's supposed to rain for the next...decade, I think? Something like that.

Normally on a day like this I would hole up with a good book or some knitting and not budge, but today we had many errands to run. First Ethan had to walk the dogs to the groomer, then we both walked to the dentist. From there I walked to the salon to pay an ungodly amount of money for a hairdo which was ruined the second I left the shop. Then we hightailed it home to do a quick clean job on the apartment before a 7:30 dinner date at Madame Claude's (a fabulous, cozy French bistro right here in JC) with our friend Mary and her friend Beth.

Now we're finally settled in for the evening with our friends John and Dina to watch boxing on Pay Per View. If it's still raining like this tomorrow, I'm not setting one tender tootsie outdoors. Hopefully I won't have to.

I hope there's not too much more of this crap before the cold weather sets in.

Nothing exciting to report, guys. Just wanted to check in so you know I'm still kicking.

On the baby front, my doc wants me to take my prenatal with an additional 400 mcg of folic acid for three months before we re-open the baby factory. So, come Chrismannukah, we'll be quite busy. Wish us luck!

XO
V

Awright already!

You know, when I sarted this blog, I was sure Ethan and I were going to be the only two people on the planet who read it, but I've recently received admonitions to update, so here goes. Don't say I never gave you anything.

I don't really feel like discussing the miscarriage at this point. There's not a whole lot to say. It was disappointing, it sucked, and I'm getting right back on the horse (Ethan's nickname for obvious reasons) as soon as the doctor gives me the go ahead. I will mention, however, that quite a few women including coworkers and family have come forward to share similar stories which I found incredibly touching. Although it's horrid to think anyone else has ever had to go through what we've been through the last two years, it's still comforting to know we're not alone.

On to Katrina--Unfortunately, there's not a whole lot I can say about it because every single comment or insight I had in the first day or two is already cliche'--"Why are they calling them REFUGEES??? They're Americans!! Why can't we get these people food and water??? This is America--not some third world country!!," etc. At first I felt very unoriginal, but then I came to the realization that it was a GOOD thing that thousands of people around the country and world were as outraged as me and for the exact same reasons and at the exact same people.

The attrocious conditions are terrible enough, but the media accounts of situational cannibalism and rape and murder among the victims completely floored me. I don't remember hearing of this sort of behavior during the aftermaths of earlier hurricanes, as devastating as they were. Then again, I don't think the damage was quite as extensive as this.

I look at the map and I get it that the affected area is huge, but it didn't sink in just how vast it was until I read a quote from Our National Shame Bush that the disaster area is larger than Great Britain! That sort of brought it home for me.

This is where I make my obligatory plea for any readers to donate whatever they can to the hurricane relief fund of their choice--assuming you haven't already. Thanks. Had to get that out of the way.

On a lighter note, the Hughes sisters of Rockville, MD and Bristol, UK are in NYC visiting. I haven't seen either of them since the wedding. Very good to see them again. They're always a hoot. Congratulations to Sue on her recent engagement and acquisition of a first class rock! And safe and happy travels to Sara as she embarks on her upcoming round-the-world trip.

I wish I had other news to report, or something else to bitch about, but it's been rather quiet around here lately. I'm enjoying that.

Having folks over to dinner tonight, so I need to: a) put pants on, b) go grocery shopping, and c) clean--roughly in that order.

Blog atcha later,
Vick

Pee Pee Stick Says "No"

That's the fourth time in a row. I'm still not despondent, but a little disappointed. We tried extra hard this time, if you catch my drift.

I even rubbed this Jamaican fertility idol that one of my coworkers brought in for another woman who's ttc. According to the coworker, the idol belongs to her mother and her mother swears that every woman who touches it becomes pregnant shortly thereafter. My coworker had to bring it into the office wrapped in towels for fear she might come in contact with it--she has no plans of making babies for a while. Maybe it will work its charms in the next cycle or two.

I wouldn't have been so disappointed, but the morning of the test I was snoozing while Ethan showered and I dreamt that it was positive. I dreamt that I took the test in the restroom of the Lebanon Valley Mall (Ethan and I were there with my folks this past weekend). I was so happy that I burst out of the ladies room and skipped the whole length of the mall waving my pee stick (with TWO pink lines, mind you) over my head and shouting to everyone within earshot that I was pregnant.

I was sure the dream was precognitive, but I soon learned otherwise. :( I know from being pregnant with Sam that when it's positive, that second line begins to appear either at the same time as the first or very shortly thereafter. After 1 1/2 minutes if there's only one dark pink line I've already tossed the stick in the trashcan. I always dig it out again after the 3 minute mark just to be absolutely sure, but I haven't been proven wrong yet.

I had been taking a daily multivitamin with a folic acid supplement for the first few months. I switched to prenatals from GNC, but they're 2 pills a day as well and I think they might make me nauseous when not taken with food. I'm going to schedule a preconception exam with my OB/GYN so I can get a prescription for the prenatals I was on before. I didn't have a problem with them, and they're only one pill a day. It's time to visit the girly doc for other reasons as well, so it's a good idea all around.

I'm also starting to worry that my job stress is affecting my fertility as well. The good news is that I shouldn't be nearly as busy by the end of this month, so hopefully that will no longer be an issue.

As disappointing as it is to find out I'm not pregnant for the 4th cycle in a row, the only thing to do is to get right back on the horse--or the nearest Jewish male. If you're reading this, Kayly, my next window starts just in time for your visit for the Mermaid Parade! I know you're jazzed about that!! We'll be extra quiet. Promise! :)

Nighty night. Must spend some QT with the cutie.

V

Stuff That Happened

Good Morning, Kids. It's 3:00 am in Jersey City. Normally I would be sound asleep, but we just got home a little while ago from the wedding of our friends Rachel and Ed Derbes and we're still a little wired.

It was a beautiful, fancy-shmancy shindig at the Yale Club in Manhattan. Rachel looked gorgeous as did her mother. Ed and Rachel's father were handsome devils in their tuxes. We had a wonderful time.

The handsomest devil of all, of course, was none other than Mr. E, himself. That boy wears the hell out of a tux, let me tell you. I wore an emerald green satin halter dress with a matching green vintage-ish brooch. I must say I looked none too shabby myself. I got quite a few compliments on the dress. If only they knew I'd bought it at the mall at the slutty-clothes-for-fat-chix store! HA! It's not slutty, however. Very tasteful 40s glam-ish. Slightly vampish perhaps, but definitely not whorish :).

One cute little hippy girl told me she liked it because it reminded her of something Bjork once wore and she LOVES Bjork. I had mental flashes of the swan dress, but took it as a compliment nonetheless.

Thursday night we went to see Mike Doughty at Bowery Ballroom. Sold out show. Just him and his keyboardist. Fucking awesome. He signed copies of his new CD--Haughty Melodic-- after the show. When I got up to him all I could say was "Hi." He said "Hi!" really enthusiastically like he was waiting for me to engage him in conversation, but I was muted by my admiration for him. I completely geeked out. It was awkward. Ethan stepped in to save the day and exchanged a few words with him. I am indebted. Next show I'll bring my copy of Slanky (his book of poems) along with me so he can sign it and I'll force myself to say something to him.

To be fair, I was next in line to this chick he obviously knew who had him sign her boobs. How do you follow that? We found out on his blog the next day that this was the chick to whom he'd lost the big V some 18 years ago. Jesus..if I'd known THAT I wouldn't have even managed to say hi! Still, I felt like a huge dork, but at least I have a signed copy of the album which is wonderful. "Unsingable Name" is really one of the most beautiful songs I've heard in a very long time. It's been stuck in my head all day. And "Busting Up A Starbucks" just solidly rocks.

If you're not familiar with Mike, check out his website www.superspecialquestions.com. His blog is well worth reading and you can listen to music from his two previous solo efforts and fall in love with him as hard as I did.

Next Thursday we're going to see Weezer. I still don't have the new album, but I'm totally jazzed to see them. I've never seen them live. They'd better rock my ass HARD and not disappoint. Rivers Cuomo is a Geek Rock GOD! He'd better live up to my expectations. Then again, girls, when has any man every lived up to our expectations really? What's that? Nevery, you say? Fuckin' A.

I should really watch my potty mouth. I could be someone's mommy right now, for all I know. We'll find out on the 12th. Wish us luck! I've noticed that ever since I was pregnant the first time, Ethan is more sensitive to my potty mouth. He never seemed to mind it before I was the mother of his child. Now he chides me and says it's "unladylike." I never claimed to be a lady. I'm more of a dame. Or maybe a moll, but not a lady.

I'm off to fall asleep with my head in Ethan's lap while he watches grown men pummel each other. Heaven!

V

Fuck Spring

I used to love spring. I tend to favor the milder seasons. I dig all the spring cliches: birds, flowers, sunshine. I live for that first day it's warm enough to wear flip flops or eat outdoors or sit in Washington Square Park and watch the freaks emerge half naked from wherever it is they hibernate all winter long.

This spring, however, has been miserable. Between the rain and pollen count, I've had a sinus headache for nigh on 6 weeks. There have only been a handful of genuinely nice days so far and they're invariably weekdays. I recall one or two nice Sundays (this last was one), but the weekends have been largely overcast and damp.

I'm convinced I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, so I look forward to spring as a time of renewed energy and increased serotonin levels. I got so robbed, man. Fuck spring, and fuck mother nature.

Unless, of course, this is all part of her plan to get me knocked up. The boy and I weren't too diligent the last two cycles, only taking advantage of about 3 days out of the six day window both times. All the lackluster weather this cycle has given us reason to stay indoors and focus on the task at hand. And we've been focusing daily, lemme tell ya. Hopefully this will be the month. I won't be crushed if it isn't--only 25% of couples conceive in the first 3 months.

As Ethan mentioned on his blog, this past Saturday was Sam's yahrzeit. He passed away April 12th last year or the 21st of Nissan on the Hebrew calendar--a fact that makes trying to conceive this cycle that much more bittersweet for all the obvious reasons. Suffice it to say, I hope he knows we love him, we're not trying to replace him, and it's his fault we want so damn much to be parents again.

On that note, I'll sign off. I'll check back in after the next pee-stick test, at the very least.

V

Pressure

So, we are on the final day of what is supposedly my "fertile window" for this cycle. (I know I promised not to get too specific about personal matters, but humor me for the sake of humor, kids.) In the past six days Ethan has been out of the country (read: Not putting out the baby juice) THREE of those days. We've "attempted to create life," to put it very nicely, exactly three times in those 6 days and yet last night he claimed he was already feeling pressure to perform. This from the man who, when we're not attempting to procreate, claims we'd engage in that particular activity daily if it were up to him. Typical male bullshit!!

I couldn't believe my ears. I mean, CHRIST, it's not like I'm asking for the moon here. Just sex every other day for a six day period to make sure there's a constant supply of viable sperm in the ol' uterus. In the end, faithful readers, he cowboyed up and did his husbandly duty, so no harm no foul. Big up, Ethan! Go on with your virile self! And I didn't have to ask, beg or give him a roofie--he actually initiated. What was all the hubbub about?

Anyhoo, March 19th is official "pee stick" day. We'll see if we were successful in our endeavors on that date. Off to spend some QT with my stud mule.

Nighty Night,
V

Just a small observation...

Have you seen the recent Budweiser ads where they show the original 1936 can design they're bringing back for a limited time? I was mortified. That design couldn't look more Nazi-esque if they put a smiling Hitler and an emaciated Jew on the can. They should just show stock footage of Hitler at the '36 Olympics and superimpose a Bud in his hand when he gives the old "Sieg Heil."

Stay tuned for the 3 crummy pics I managed to get of The Gates this past Saturday before I DROPPED MY GODDAMN DIGITAL CAMERA AND BROKE THE SHIT OUT OF IT. I'm such a fucking loser...

Vickster

Mommy & Daddy Dance

As usual, my friends, not a hell of a lot has happened in the Sincoff universe in the past 6 weeks or so. Only two highlights to mention, and only one of them significant.

On Saturday, February 12th, Mr. E and I went for a couples massage at the lovely Oasis on Park Day Spa in Manhattan. It was a two hour indulgence with the first hour being instructional and the second a straight-up massage. Ethan has finally learned how to rub my shoulders without making me scream in agony. $300 well spent, I'd say.

That following Thursday we met with our genetic counselor and learned that it's very unlikely that any future children will have the same health problems Sam had. We were planning on trying again this year, but after that good news we're anxious to start right away.

I immediately went to babycenter.com and used their ovulation calculator to figure out my "fertile days" for the rest of the calendar year. Needless to say, we won't be available for socializing from March 5th thru the 10th. And, in the event we don't knock one out of the park on our first at bat, we also won't be receiving visitors from April 2nd thru the 7th.

I'm interested to see how long it takes us to get pregnant when we're trying. Considering the circumstances of the last time, it should be pretty fast. Ethan's got that super-tenacious Jew sperm--those kids didn't survive almost 6,000 years of oppression, genocide, natural AND deity-wrought disasters by chance, ya know. It's somethin' in the genes, baby.

Readers should be forewarned that this will most likely be, from here on out, a conception/pregnancy blog. I will not go into disgustingly graphic details, however. Have no fear of that. No detailed discussions of the consistency of my vaginal mucus or how many times the hubby and I copulated or in what positions. I'm sure my postings will be more psychological and emotional in nature.

So, in my first official pre-conception post let me just say that I'm very excited about the next few months. I'm looking forward to (mush alert, kids) the experience of making love to another person with the intention of creating a baby. Never done that one! I'm looking forward to the moment when we finally see those two pink lines on the pee-pee stick and everything in between. I'm even looking forward to the emotional support and coddling I'll get from Ethan in the event the test is negative and we have to do it all over again the next month.

We'll see how this goes. I'm not 100% sure how comfortable I am putting such personal stuff out there, but I'll give it my best shot. And it's not like there are more than, say, TWO of you who ever read this anyway, and you'd be the two people I'd be telling all this to regardless.

I couldn't sign off without a reference to the pets, so humor me one short Fred story, because this is too darling not to share. I had a miserable stomach virus from this past Saturday thru Tuesday. Monday night I was lying on the couch watching TV, my stomach feeling like it had been stomped by an elephant. Just then Fred jumps up on the couch with his toy monkey in his mouth, places it on my pillow and then curls up and goes to sleep by my knees. I assumed he wanted to play, but he showed no interest. I really think he gave me Monkey to make me feel better. What else could one possibly infer? Pets are far more intuitive than people give them credit for. Freddie Sincoff is the handsomest dog and sweetest boy in the whole wide world--and he loves his mama :).

V

Ethan's bugging me to update again, so I decided to appease him. As usual, not much has happened since I last checked in. Well, a few things happened, but nothing earthshattering.

Ethan's phat neighborhoodie finally arrived. It is baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadass, if I do say so myself. I intend to photograph him in it for their photo gallery and will post the picture here when I do. Check out the site if you haven't before. The merchandise is top notch and the staff are very friendly--I got a handwritten, hipster thank you for my order included in the box. It's little touches like that that will make my buy from them again.

As E mentioned on his blog, we've been on a health kick for the past week and a half. In our defense, we started right after Xmas unlike all these schmucks with their well-meaning New Year's resolutions. We've finally gotten a clue and realized that the only real, permanent way to lose weight is to eat less and exercise more. Not that we ate like hungry, hungry hippos before, but we were certainly as lethargic as the aforementioned beasts. It's going well so far--we've both lost about 2 1/2 lbs. Go, go Superjews!

It's a cold, rainy day in JC, but thanks to my new diet, exercise regimen and annoyingly positive outlook on life, I'm actually looking forward to going out tonight. We're meeting friends at the Film Forum in the Village to see "Hitler's Hit Parade"--sort of a montage of German pop culture from the Nazi era including home movies of der Fuehrer shot by civilians, anti-semitic cartoons, the whole megillah as my adopted people would say. I'm very jazzed. Jazzed for the movie, jazzed to be going into the city for the first time in about 2 weeks, jazzed to see people with whom I neither live nor work. I'm just super stoked, obviously. Can you tell?

I just scrolled up to re-read what I'd written so far and was sort of struck by the "nothing earthshattering" comment. Obviously I'm referring to my own life there, and not the horrible and ongoing tragedy in East Asia. Not to get heavy here, but please consider donating to the charity of your choice to help out. Good hearted Americans have donated over $3 billion so far. I like to think that the bulk of that $3 billion came from lefties who were mortified by Bush's initial stinginess, but I'm sure just as many people on the right dug deep as well, and for that I thank them. Once again, a horrible tragedy seems to be the only thing that can bring these two warring factions together. Fucking beautiful.

Ethan's cleaning the kitchen all by himself and I feel like I should be helping out, so I'll sign off for now.

(This post is dedicated to the memory of Jerry Orbach, Law and Order's beloved Det. Lennie Briscoe).

V

I'm so goddamn boring...

I haven't had a SINGLE exciting or interesting thing to post to this blog in 45 days. I was too emotionally distraught after the election to say anything coherent about it, so I chose not to. Other than that, I've been so busy at work that I'm too tired to even look at the computer when I get home, so I don't read nearly as much news as I used to and therefore am not able to comment on current events in any meaningful way.

Ethan's been hounding me to update this blog, but I honestly have had bugger all to say. Before I started this blog, I was of a mind that regular people shouldn't have them. Who wants to read their mundane, banal bullshit? Four months later I still feel that way, but I'm not a quitter so I have to stick with it out of spite.

Obviously not blogging, I've been spending my time doing things I genuinely enjoy: reading, snuggling on the couch with Ethan and the dogs, cooking. I love winter because I can enjoy those things without feeling guilty about not going out more. It's like winter gives us a meteorological excuse to be a hermit.

If it were up to me, people would hibernate in winter. I really have no desire to go out from around mid-December to mid-March. I don't think it's SAD (as in Seasonal Affective Disorder, not pitiful), because I'm really happy being indoors. I'm not moping, I have a blast! And it seems completely natural to me, because by the time spring rolls around I've had enough solitude and can't wait to get outdoors again, allergies be damned.

Unfortunately, I'm married to a very social type who goes stir crazy if we stay in even three nights in a row. He literally gets "antsy." Okay, so not literally, because that would mean he had actual ants in his pants and I never, ever want to witness that. He gets squeamish and girly at the sight of one bug. I can't imagine if he were crawling with hundreds of them. In his defense, he's very manly in a lot of ways, too :).

So I do have ONE interesting thing to report. Last night we went into the city for dinner and a movie with Susannah (That's not the interesting thing). After the film we went to Veselka on 9th and 2nd Ave. for coffee and dessert. Halfway through my carrot cake I look to my left (we had a killer table right next to the restrooms...yak!) and there's Rufus Wainwright coming out of the loo (That's the interesting part). I had to look at him a second until my brain figured out if he was someone I went to school with, a friend of a friend or a celebrity, but the penny finally dropped and I realized it was him. I'm a big fan. I didn't talk to him. I'm not a celebrity approacher. I can't make an ass out of myself like that.

That made my night. It was like God had decided to reward me for getting my fat ass off the couch for a change. I love New York.

I'm off for some husband and canine snuggles. Take care and I promise to check in more often. Matter of fact, I just might make that my New Year's Resolution along with drinking 8 glasses of water a day and cleaning once a week and paying bills on time, and....ha ha ha! I kill myself.

Love,
Veekee

Oops, almost forgot...

Let me not retire from blogging for the evening without taking this opportunity to address my husband of 366 days directly:

Ethan,

Despite all the shitty, shitty, shitty things that happened to us this year, I'm still insanely glad that I married you and loopy in love. You're still the funniest, most interesting, sharp-tongued sonofabitch I have ever met. In a year full of heartache and tough breaks, it was comforting to know that our relationship was the one thing I never had to worry about. Here's hoping 2005 is a little easier on us--and that we're a little easier on ourselves and each other.

Happy anniversary, bubbe.

XOXOXOXOXOX

V

32 Days to a New America...

or the end of the world. After tonight's debate, the former doesn't seem so impossible.

It's very late and I'm very tired. Been working hard at the new job, so I haven't had the time or energy to post my daily political diatribes to this here blog o' mine, but I just had to say how impressed I was with Kerry tonight. He was concise, clear and to the point. I especially liked how he mimicked Bush's strategy of staying on message and reiterating the key points he wanted to get out to the american people tonight.

I daresay he was even better than the president at this tactic. He was able to skillfully weave his talking points into the question at hand whereas Bush seemed to invoke his when he couldn't come up with a satisfactory answer, whether his particular mantra of choice made sense in context or not.

And despite the Repubs downplaying Bush's debating abilities and playing up Kerry's in the hopes that Bush would appear successful so long as he didn't make a complete ass of himself, I think he still came out looking like he hasn't the slightest clue what he's talking about. He sounded like a trained parrot, frankly.

Let's just hope the remaining debates go as well for Johnny Boy as this one tonight.

Big ups to Jon Stewart (my other Jewish boyfriend--the other being Marc Maron) for not being a pussy while interviewing Giuliani and actually calling him on that bullshit statement of his about Kerry flip flopping on whether or not Saddam was a threat. He's such a fucking whore. The only way his post-debate commentary could have possibly been more vile would be if he were actually wiping W's seed off his chin while he was talking to Tom Brokaw.

Okay, that was a little too vicious even for me. I'd best be off to bed.

Take care, kiddies.

XO

Thank God for low centers of gravity. Sometimes being short has its perks. Susannah, Ethan and I defying hurricane-like winds to complete the 2004 Walk for PKD on 9/18/04.  

Neither Rain Nor Sleet...

This past Saturday was not the most ideal day to schlep around Liberty State Park with the remains of hurricane Frances or Ivan or whichever wreaking havoc on the weather, but we managed to complete the 5k Walk for PKD nonetheless. Fear not, generous donors--your contributions did not go to waste. In fact, the NJ chapter more than raised its goal of $42,000, making the walk a complete and utter success. We were all glad to be a part of it!

We woke up at 8:00 am to heavy rains and flooding, but, thankfully, the skies cleared in time for the actual walk. The wind, however, was another story. For the first 2.5k it was our friend, pushing us along our way. The way back was brutal. I felt like a mime, except with real wind. So I guess that's not really miming, but you get my meaning...

Who knew walking 5k was such a workout? We were useless the rest of the day, relaxing and watching movies. Sunday we slept until 3:00 pm, did laundry and then visited the Shingletons for a bit.

My first two days at the new job have gone relatively smoothly. Right now I'm in charge of booking CME presentations on Stress Urinary Incontinence (check out the "clinical tools" on www.stressui.org for a good giggle. I highly recommend the pelvic floor muscle assessment and physical exam tipsheet--I can laugh, I've had Stress UI). I have 4 all but booked out of 9. Apparently I'm doing better than my two counterparts working on the same project, so I may need to reign it in so as to a) not piss them off and b) keep my bosses from expecting so much effort on a regular basis. At least I know I'm making a decent impression.

I barely have a cube. Since I'm on the end I have no back wall, so my back is completely exposed. I hate that. I have a Wild Bill Hickock complex, I always like to have my back to a wall so I can survey the entire room. I feel unprotected. I also startle easily, so maybe they'll move me to a better cube after 2 or 3 occurrences of someone coming up behind me and me screaming "JESUS!!!!" at the top of my lungs.

In other news: This Friday at sundown begins Yom Kippur, the Jewish day of atonement and (sigh...) fasting. We'll see how good we do on the second half of that--the atoning we have down pat. It's the not-stuffing-our-faces-for-24-hours that needs some work.

I'm off to bed. The only reason I'm still up this late is because I passed out on the couch from 8:30-11:00 pm. Getting up an extra half hour early really f's up your whole groove, man.

Good Yuntiff!

Technically, Rosh Hashanah ended at sundown, but l'shanah tovah to any readers of the Jewish persuasion.

Tonight we went to Ethan's Uncle Joe and Aunt Eileen's in Brooklyn for Rosh Hashanah dinner. There were about 16 Jews gossiping and stuffing their faces with gefilte fish (I tried it for the first time ever. Not a fan, frankly), brisket, turkey, kasha varnishkas, potatoes, etc. etc. We had a blast. It was my first opportunity to see how a normal(ish) Reform Jewish family spends the holidays so I know what to do when we have our own family. I'll be leaving out the gefilte fish, however.

As Ethan mentioned on his blog, we were at their house on Tuesday as well--which was another first for me, my first live boxing match. I was excited to go as we're all big fans of the main eventer Dimitriy "Star of David" Salita. He's an up and coming Jewish boxer. Cute kid originally from Odessa, Ukraine now fighting out of Brooklyn. As Ethan says, he's a great technical fighter, but it's difficult to tell if he has any power punches.

I love watching him because, as an observant orthodox Jew, he often comes out to the ring with his spiritual advisor/rabbi with stars of David containing his initials emblazoned on his robe and trunks. This night the rabbi didn't accompany him to the ring, but in his stead were what can only be called a "hardcore klezmer band." Maybe even "hardcore surf klezmer." Imagine Korn, The Beach Boys and The Klezmatics rolled into one. He really likes to push the Jewish angle. It amuses me greatly. If you go to his website, www.dsalita.com, and go to the photo gallery, among the photos of him training and beating the crap out of his opponents, there's one of him in his prayer shawl strapping on his tefillin.

I must say that watching boxing live is a lot different than watching on TV. Watching on TV gives you that extra layer of detachment that keeps you from really being affected by the violence happening in the ring. I was actually a little squeamish at first, witnessing it live. One of the Irish brothers who fought, whom Ethan mentioned on his post, was knocked out cold by a Puerto Rican fighter. I missed the punch, but when I turned back to the ring he was lying face down and his legs were twitching. For one second I was afraid he'd be a vegetable and I'd be traumatized for life--never being able to watch boxing ever again. Alas, he was ok.

As E also mentioned, this took place in very Russian Brighton Beach. Salita Being Ukrainian and Jewish, there were tons of Russians and Jews (and Russian Jews, I'm sure) in the audience. They were all rabid fans--they have their own cheers and everything. I was shocked to see so many orthodox (and I'm talking ORTHODOX, not this modern orthodox or metrodox bullshit) Jews were there. I thought the orthodox were strictly opposed to violence. I guess I was wrong. Maybe that's just the Chasidim. Or maybe there's some technical reason that it's ok that Dimitriy boxes that makes it ok for other orthodox Jews to watch. I have no idea.

Anyhoo, I'm sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy. Will write more when I actually have something interesting to say.

Happy Birthday, Mr. Sincoff...

I've been too busy to post the last week, but had to take a second today to say Happy Birthday to my dearest husband! He is 34 VERY SEXY years old today.

I've been telling him that all week, but he didn't believe me until his 32 year old best friend's 23 year old babe of a girlfriend said, "Ethan, you're looking JACKED!" Now his already huge pumpkinhead is even more inflated. Thanks, Kate--you bought me at least a day or two of not having to listen to him groan about his weight or how old he is! Why he doesn't believe his own wife is beyond me, however.

Anyhoo, happiest of birthdays, toots! Many thanks to your parents for having sex 34 years and 7 mos. ago. Where would I be if they hadn't??? I'd probably still be a single gentile living in DC. Perish the thought...

Business Ethics and Other Oxymorons...

So I got the job at the new joint. They made me an offer yesterday and I handed in my letter of resignation. Not a huge salary jump to start, but it's a lateral move after all. Their yearly raises are roughly 1 1/2 to 2 times larger than my current company's and we get a year-end bonus, so I figured it's worthwhile. On top of that, my friend and everyone I talked to there assures me that they're quick to promote people from within and recognize and reward hard work--none of which my current company does.

I've sat here for two years watching my company hemorrhage good people to competing companies who pay more competitively. Those who remain do so with little hope of promotion or a significant pay raise. My boss actually tried to convince me when I met with her yesterday that there was room for advancement here. There are three people ahead of me for promotion here looking to fill one management position--and guess what?? The company is looking to the outside to fill that position, completely overlooking its hardworking employees who are more than qualified and who have been slugging away at their current positions for at least two years now (some have been with the company for as many as five).

Management cannot seem to put two and two together. I don't think they're stupid, I just think their hands are tied by the parent company, Thomson. Thomson seems to be very big on downsizing and promotion freezes. They certainly don't care about employee retention. It's a real shame.

Still, I'll miss a lot of great people I've gotten to know here. I'll have to try headhunting them as the opportunity arises like my friend did me. I have no compunctions about stealing good people from a company that doesn't appreciate them.

In other news: I've decided Jenna Bush is REALLY weird looking. She looks like the worst possible combo of her mother, her father and a hideous elf. I get the feeling that of the two siblings, she's the "W" and Barbara is the "Jeb." She seems to have that same mischievous/clueless appeal her father has. I haven't heard her speak yet, so I've no idea if she also has her father's oratorical eloquence as well.

OK, so the heading is "....Oxymorons." What's this about the Bush campaing returning to its 2000 era compassionate conservatism spiel?? What's so compassionate about the 2004 Republican platform? There's certainly no compassion for gays or young pregnant women in crisis or public schools or....Bah!

Dick Cheney's snarling face will be all over the tube tonight, but I don't think I'll watch it. I'm surprised that kid managed to get so close to him at the convention. I'd be afraid he'd bite my hand off. If he were a dog, he'd be muzzled. Kudos to the Veep, however, for finally coming out in support of his gay daughter, no matter how politically motivated it may be.

John Kerry isn't getting another red cent from me...

He's raised over $230 million so far--more than any other democrat ever. WHAT IS HE DOING WITH IT????

He has two months to bring out the big guns and spend the bulk of the cash his supporters worked so hard to raise for him and he'd better do it.

I'm an eternal optimist, so I still think he's just picking his moment very carefully. We shall see. The suspense is killing me.

I work hard (sometimes) for my money and I want to know it's being spent wisely and for its intended purpose--to defeat Bush.

I'm sure I don't need to point out...

That the content of the previous posting constitutes a


FLIP FLOP


on the part of the Bush administration--though apparently he denied that they had altered their view on this matter even though it's well documented that they have. Idiot.

Hell Freezes Over (While the Polar Ice Caps Melt)

In a new report to congress, Bush and his administration have finally admitted that carbon dioxide and other heat-trapping gases "are the only likely explanation for global warming over the last three decades."

In a separate statement Bush conceded that the earth was, indeed, spherical and that "maybe there's somethin' to this whole evolution monkey business after all."

In the News

The number of Americans living in poverty has increased by 1.3 million in the past year and the number of uninsured by 1.4 million. Chew on that for a while. Still turning that corner, I guess.

On a lighter note, the banana split turned 100 yrs. old yesterday! Happy Birthday to one of America's favorite desserts. I think the Bush administration should hand out free banana splits to the 36 million Americans living in poverty. It might make them feel better about being so poor. I know when I'm sad about something, a banana split sure turns my frown upside down.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

About 4 to 6 weeks ago I interviewed with a company similar to my current one. You can check out their website, though it's not even remotely interesting to anyone outside the medical education and pharmaceutical communities (www. cognimed.net).

I interviewed with two different people and it seemed to go really well--and I don't say that lightly. I'm very clueless when it comes to sensing whether others like me and even I could tell it went well. So I was surprised when I didn't here back and chalked it up to me wanting too much money. Lo and behold, last week I get a call out of the blue that they want me to return to interview with the company's president who happens to be a member of the tribe (though I didn't use that to my advantage:)). So I meet with him and one other individual this afternoon and it goes really well again--the president says "You'll definitely here from us within a week" and the other dude says he thinks I'd be a "good fit" and that the other people I'd met with had all good stuff to say about me.

So I'm thinking it's pretty much in the bag (knocking on wood as I type this) and now I just need to sit tight and wait for an offer. Hopefully it'll be significantly more than what I'm making now (I'd even settle for 5k more at this point).

Anyhoo, keep your fingers crossed for me. We can use a lucky break after the year we've had. And keep your fingers crossed for Ethan, too. Sitting around the house with only animals for company is making him a little kookoo for cocoa puffs. If we could ever use a dose of good karma, it's now.

In other news:

1. We've started going back to the gym after months of lethargy and girth expansion. I haven't walked without a limp in about a week. Still, it's a good hurt.

2. Is John Kerry TRYING to lose the election? He really needs to come out with a stronger rebuttal to the Swift Boat Veterans for Diabolical Deception than what he's put out so far. I appreciate that he's trying to stay positive and not sink to their level, but one can only turn the other cheek so many times, and that would be once. When you run out of cheeks, it's time for the gloves to come off and my money's on Kerry in a bare knuckle brawl against Georgie any day.

I'm counting on the K-Man to whoop the "Speaker of Very Short Sentences" (as Garrison Keillor referred to him) in the upcoming debates. So long as he doesn't show obvious signs of frustration and exasperation like Gore, I think it's a lock. A girl can dream....

Which is exactly what I'm off to do. It's late and I can't go kamikaze at the old job until the offer letter for the new one is signed (assuming it's coming, that is--don't want to jinx anything).

Night night. Sleep tight. Don't let the Republicans bite.

Little Things Make Me Happy

I finally got around to buying myself a radio to put in my cube so I can listen to Air America while I work. Now I can listen to Al Franken and my new Jewish boyfriend, Marc Maron, at work as well as at home and in the car. Good stuff.

Have you heard the laughably propagandistic commercials from the Saudi govt. re: the 9/11 commission? Pathetic. That's it. I have nothing insightful to say about it. The news is pretty thin today, sadly.

My Dogs Hate Me

For making them wear embarrassing shit like this. It wasn't enough that they had to endure going to the groomer's today, but we got home to find that my order from Glamour Dog had arrived.

What you can't see in the picture is that Lulu's hoodie sweatshirt has a flower and the phrase "Daddy's Girl" embroidered on it. Freddie has one in blue with a dog and the words "Mommy's Boy" on it. To my knowledge, he is still under the couch, humiliated, but hasn't actually tried to chew it off yet. Maybe if he comes out I can get a decent picture of him in it.

Lulu fantasizing about the night I sleep soundly enough that she can gnaw all the way through my jugular with her little chiclet teeth without waking me up.  

Sorry, Charley

As the two (?) of you who occasionally read this know, Ethan is in Florida looking after his father who just had surgery. He's slated to return home tomorrow afternoon. For two weeks I have been looking forward to tomorrow, so if Hurricane Charley thinks he's going to throw a monkey wrench in my plans (or an uprooted palm tree), he's got another think comin'.

Neither Hell nor hurricane hath wrath like a woman in the throes of PMS who hasn't been in close proximity to a man in a fortnight. I'm already mere millimeters from insanity at this point, Charley. Don't push me. You still have a chance to veer off at the last minute and go whirling out into the Atlantic. You might want to consider that if you know what's good for you.

Aside: You know someone's egotistical when they threaten the weather.

In Other News: A 480 lb. woman in Florida died as rescue workers tried to remove her from her couch to which she had grown fast after six years of not moving from it. See article here. Her skin had literally become one with the fabric of the couch. My question is, how long do you have to stay put before you start to grow fast? In six years of couch sitting, assuming she wasn't the full 480 pounds at the beginning, wouldn't you change position occasionally? Maybe get up to fluff the cushions? Or go to the bathroom for crying out loud? Why didn't the man living with her seek help? Did she ever ask for it? I feel so terrible for her.

Ethan, if I ever reach 480 lbs. and can no longer remove myself from the futon please, please, PLEASE promise me you'll get help. I can't imagine being so fat that I'm unable to even get up to get more food, though sometimes I feel like I'm well on my way. Imagine being such a couch potato that you actually put down roots!

That's it for now kids. Time to work.

That's more like it

Big ups to France for arresting the culprits so quickly. Way to put your argent where your bouche is, for a change. I retract my "France, schmance" comment for now. On peut lire l'article ici.

Like I said: France, Schmance

Jewish Graves Desecrated in France

LYON, France (AP) -- Vandals scrawled anti-Semitic graffiti on dozens of tombstones in Lyon overnight, authorities said Tuesday, the third time a Jewish cemetery has been desecrated this year.
Swastikas and inscriptions with Adolf Hitler's name were painted on headstones in de la Mouche cemetery in this southern French city, the same burial site that was desecrated by skinheads in 1992.
Richard Wertenschlag, Lyon's chief rabbi, told France Info radio that the vandalism was an affront to the Jewish community and to France's values.
"How is it that after the Holocaust, someone can still attack Jews -- even those who are dead -- for the simple reason that they are Jews?" he said.
The vandalized graves were at the back of the cemetery, a distance from the guardian's house, and among its oldest tombs. A monument to Jewish World War II soldiers was also covered with graffiti, the French Veterans Affairs Ministry said.
The crime drew the swift condemnation of the French government.
"The perpetrators of this outrage are being actively pursued," President Jacques Chirac said in a letter to Marcel Dreyfus, a local Jewish leader in Lyon. "They will be punished to the maximum extent the law allows."
In the Czech Republic, dozens of tombstones have been found toppled at a Jewish cemetery in the eastern of town Hranice, police said Tuesday.
Spokeswoman Michaela Sedlackova said that some 80 tombstones were overturned in the cemetery in the town 187 miles east of Prague. She said it was not clear when the incident happened. The cemetery dates to the 17th century. Sigmund Freud's brother, Julius, was buried there in 1858.
In France in May, swastikas and other anti-Semitic graffiti were scrawled on 127 headstones at a Jewish cemetery in the Alsatian town of Herrlisheim. And last month, vandals painted swastikas and Satanic symbols on 32 tombstones at a Jewish cemetery in Saverne, also in Alsace. Muslim and Christian cemeteries have also been vandalized.
Despite a series of government measures, anti-Semitic violence has increased in recent years in France, coinciding with rising tensions between Israelis and Palestinians. Authorities have blamed young French Muslims for some of the violence.
A recent report by the French Interior Ministry found 510 anti-Jewish acts or threats in the first six months of the year, compared with 593 for all of 2003.

Jewish students attacked at Auschwitz

The headline alone sent me into a rage-induced seizure before I even read the article.

Liberal as I am, I'm starting to think that Sharon's call to French Jews to emigrate to Israel was not so irrational after all. It's clear the French have a real problem with anti-semitism and that they're doing very little to control it.

And don't give me that "What do you expect with the Israeli occupation of Palestine" bullshit. America isn't so popular right now either, but you hear far fewer tales of American tourists being attacked in Europe--if any.

So now, a message to every Jew in France:

Get out while you can, bubbe. It's not safe there. Neither is Israel. Come to New York, we'll take care of you. One or two of you can even crash on our futon. France, SCHMANCE!!

Heaven Isn't too Far Away...

Never were Warrant lyrics so dead on. Heaven isn't too far away, it's in the snack machine in my very own office. I went there just now expecting to find the usual pedestrian snacks when mine eyes did fall upon the most beauteous sight they have ever beheld--Reese's Inside Out peanut butter cups. Peanut butter on the outside, chocolate within.

Now, regular Reese's peanut butter cups are still my number one chocolaty treat of choice, but as I tend to crave peanut butter when I'm "hormonal," I could not have stumbled upon a more perfect snack. God bless the good folks at Reese's and keep up the good work!

A Call to Minorities Thinking of Voting Republican...

This past Friday Bush came out against legacy admissions to colleges.

Take a second and read that one again.

This past Friday Bush came out against legacy admissions to colleges.

You wanna know why? Because our anti-affirmative action president thinks that legacy admissions limit university access to minorities!! And, unlike affirmative action, eliminating legacy admissions doesn't cost taxpayers one red cent.

Now, I'm all for eliminating legacy admissions, but in conjunction with affirmative action. If nothing else, eliminating legacy admissions means that knuckleheads like the POTUS will not be taking up valuable seats in our nation's finest halls of learning. If it weren't for legacy, he'd be lucky to have a degree from Midland Community College (if there is such an institution).

So I say unto my non-caucasian friends: George Bush does not give one rat's ass if you go to college, receive a quality education and make a better life for yourself and your family. The legacy bs is pure appeasement and sleight of hand. He wants you to think he supports greater access to universities for minorities, but he could not care less. This is one more example of his compassionless conservatism--he's just gotten better at packaging it. Don't be duped like the 50% of my fellow caucasians who still think he's the best man for the nation's highest office. I beg you.

No Comment Necessary

I heard about this yesterday and just had to share.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said. "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

full article: http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/military/20040805-1048-bushism.html

Nostalgia Creeping In

How old are we when we first think to ourselves that today's music just isn't quite as good as yesterday's? 26? 28? I'm 30 and I definitely feel that way. I haven't quite reached the point where I think today's music is entirely unlistenable--there's some really good stuff out there--but most of it just sounds like crap to me. Have my tastes become more refined or am I just out of touch (read: fucking old and lame)?

I'm only contemplating this less-than-original subject because I downloaded some Cure tonight from iTunes because most of my Cure is on dubbed cassettes that are a good 15 yrs. old. I have to say, though not my favorite of all the Cure songs (I'd be hard pressed to pick a favorite), Just Like Heaven is quite possibly the most perfect pop song ever written. Every time I hear it I have to fight the urge to pinwheel and I wish I was a 15 yr. old goofy goth girl again :). Good stuff.

In other news: (file under TMI) My ovarian cysts are flaring up again. The literature says they can swell up to the size of grapefruits, but I'd swear mine are more like cantaloupes. As such, I am VERY IRRITABLE AND GENERALLY NOT NICE TO BE AROUND RIGHT NOW.

I feel like Violet Beauregard from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory minus the blueish hue and incessant gum chewing. Where are the Oompa Loompas to roll me to the juicing room when I need them???? Lazy little fucks. They're like mini-Teamsters. Just 'cause they're union they think they can slack and get away with it. Oompa-Loompa-doompity-doo, I've got a pink slip to give to you.

The kittens are gone as of tomorrow. Woohoo! Taking bets right now on how long it will take me to find the last hidden pile of poop once they're gone. I don't know that I'll ever find all of them. I've been searching for the one by the computer for at least a week now with no luck and it still stinks. Perhaps the poop smell is just permanently ensconced in my nostrils and I just THINK there's kitten feces everywhere.

Whatever, that's our good samaritan deed for the foreseeable future. That karma should last us at least a few months. I would love to sit here and blog all night, but sitting on this uncomfortable wooden chair has completely paralyzed my ass.

Nighty night, sweet bitches! XOXOXO

Funniest thing EVER of all time

If you have not yet seen the video of Will Ferrell playing W trying to film a campaign commercial, go here and then come back and kiss my tootsies in thanks.

Will Ferrell is a comedy GOD.

John McCain: A Rare Breed

A respectable Republican!

McCain condemns anti-Kerry ads, calls on White House to follow suit

Enough Already

Day 5 without my loyal sidekick/husband by my side. Enough already, I say. Being apart this past week while Ethan's looking after his dad in FL has taught me some valuable lessons:

1. Sitting your fat ass in front of the TV for 6 hrs. a night isn't nearly as fun by yourself as it is with a partner. At least with a partner you feel like you're both sharing in something which lends the experience a bullshit air of participation and engagement.

2. Eight animals are FAR too many for one person to look after. If I'm not filling a food bowl, letting someone in or out, or chasing someone off the counter/kitchen table/coffee table, I'm finding piles of poop, pee, or puke all around the apartment (usually with my bare feet). I now have this new game where I try to guess what I've just stepped in by feel before I look down to confirm my guess. I've gotten really good at it. Add that to my ever growing list of useless talents.

3. The reason I don't usually step in this stuff is because Ethan's usually the one to clean it up. He's also the one who scoops the litter boxes and picks up the doggie doo on walks. I really need to be more appreciative of him and share the burden. I didn't realize how horrible it was. The last 5 days my life has pretty much been cleaning up poop--occasionally interrupted by brief spurts of work, sleep, and TV viewing.

I'm so bored and lazy in his absence I can't even finish this blog entry properly. Pardon if it just fizzles out right here at the end.

Well look at that!

Apparently, there IS a time frame now. Well I'll be....And this from British intelligence. Please remember that British intelligence ALSO thought that Saddam had WMD. You'd think by now that Blair and British intelligence agencies would want to sever themselves as cleanly as possible from this administration. Guess not.

In other news: At his appearance at the Rose Garden, Bush implied that Kerry and the Democrats want to "appease" the terrorists, which is an outright lie--undoubtedly told with that aggravating little sneer of his. He's also said that, knowing what he knows now, he STILL would have invaded Iraq because: a) Saddam had the capability of producing WMD (no he didn't), b) the WMD may still be found (no they won't), and c) Saddam had terrorist ties (not really--and certainly not to 9/11). See Salon's War Room for the exact quotes.

It would be one thing if Bush had negative ammo against Kerry that was credible (really credible, not credible like the intelligence that sent us to war in Iraq), but he DOESN'T!! The Republican convention hasn't even taken place, we're not even into the genuine presidential campaign season and he's already resorting to disinformation, innuendo and LIES. He's in deep doodoo. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, Georgie.

Scare America

Looks like the Bushies and the Department of Homeland Paranoia have done it again. However, unlike the numerous, strategically timed terror warnings of the past, this one was much more specific and the implication was that they had definite information about Al-Qaeda "planning attacks" on financial institutions in New York and DC although there was no "time frame." The threat level was increased to Orange Plus (I've got my spine...I've got my Orange Plus, to paraphrase an old R.E.M. song).

Tom Ridge and his big, scary head came on TV to raise the spectre of the terrorist bogeyman once again. Security was increased outside the aforementioned targets including heavily armed police officers in body armor with bomb sniffing dogs to (purportedly) make us feel more secure. Yet again, we were told to "go about our daily lives" while "remainging vigilant."

Which makes the news that the information all this hubbub was based on is 3 to 4 yrs. old absolutely INFURIATING!! They failed to mention this completely during the original press conferences, but once the media got hold of their deception they quickly backpedaled by saying that the initial surveillance of the targets took place in 2000 or 2001, but that it had been "updated" January of this year. Still, there is no time frame for the impending attacks. What an ingenious way to keep us good and scared indefinitely (or at least until November 3rd).

I'm not 100% sure that this warning is politically motivated, but it is suspect at the very least. And I feel America is getting very tired of the government crying wolf. I'd rather we be overprotected than underprotected, but be honest with us. These targets could have been attacked any time within the past 3 years and they'd have been wholly unprotected. We're very fortunate that that wasn't the case, but now that we're making such a big stink about protecting them, wouldn't the terrorists find alternate targets if they're really planning an attack??

At the very least, "President" Bush is doing his best to implement the recommendations of the 9/11 Commission (the formation of which he vehemently opposed and in front of which he refused to officially testify, remember) in a speedy fashion. That's literally the least he could do. Good on ya, W. It's nice to know "America's safer.." in these "...dangerous times" with you at the helm.

Loki takes it up the bung from BonBon. Note the wholly disinterested expression on Loki's face. 

The new love of Freddie's life.  

When the Cat's Away...

You would not believe the crazy insane stuff I've gotten up to since Ethan's gone off to Florida. Friday night alone I did something I never would have been able to do if he'd been home: I watched the final installment of Lord of the Rings (SCANDALOUS!).

Yesterday I accompanied Dina to a chihuahua pool party where I was treated to a live gay chihuahua sex show (Dina's supposed to e-mail me the photographic evidence). Ok, so it was techinically a bi sex show, because the same two boys (Loki and BonBon), were tag teaming Dina's chihuahua Molly when they weren't banging each other. Who knew such little dogs could be so horny? Watching their tawdry carnal display made me miss Ethan all the more :).

The party took place in a chichi little dog store in the east village. I couldn't leave without something for the Sincoff pups, so I bought some brushes and a new squeaky monkey. Squeaky Monkey #1 was Fred's favorite toy of all time until his demise when Lulu's little chiclet teeth punctured his squeaker. Now that he's squeakless, they ignore him like he's really dead. When I saw Squeaky II at the store, I had to buy him. The kids flipped out when I took him out of the bag. They haven't stopped playing with him since. I think Freddie even slept with him.

I know I promised no more dog blogs for a while, but I couldn't help it.

In other animal news, the kittens are still here and more rambunctious than ever. While watching LOTR Friday night and eating Doritos, Fugly (the white/tabby) and Shaggy (the long hair) both launched themselves at my head simultaneously. Fug commenced biting my lip while Shaggy attacked my neck. I have no idea what that was about, but for one split second I thought it might be the end of me. I had visions of Ethan coming home to find my picked-clean skeleton on the futon with 2 fat, wild-eyed kittens curled up on my ribcage. I fear for my safety now that the two of them have tasted human flesh.

The third, non-man-meat-hungry kitten is the fastest thing I have ever seen. I think she's part cheetah. It took me a good 30 mins to catch her last night so I could put them all in their cage before going to bed.

I'm off to slack. I don't feel like accomplishing much today besides finishing my book and napping. It's raining, so it's the perfect sort of day for those activities.